Like any morning of my junior year I stumble in the classroom late but this day I see
Faces, I feel an air like a funeral, like a wake, as I sit dow.
My teacher speaking, somewhat somberly, but still confident and calm.
Part eulogy, her speech, and part poem, part celebration song.
Her warmth and smile, she passes photocopies out to us of entries from a journal
Kept so long ago. She starts to read and suddenly it's 1980.

March 5–The cancer is furious but our son is resilient, we have all the faith we'll get through this no matter what the end. Treatments are violent but he keeps on smiling. It's amazing finding joy in the little things.

April 12–Andrew's appetites improved and we thank God everyday. But still it's hard sometimes to see him in that scarecrow frame.

July 9–There's a suffering when I look in his eyes. He's been through so much. We've all been through so much but what incredible resolve our little boy shows, only 7, standing face to face with death. He said it's easy to find people who have suffered worse than him. “Like Jesus, suffered worse than anyone,” he told me last night, “when God abandoned him.”

September 20–We've been playing in the yard lately and spirits are high although his blood counts aren't.

October 14–He feels tired all the time.

November 30–At the hospital again. It feels like home when we're here.

December 8–He's getting worse.

January 19–We buried our son today, our youngest child, and while his death was ugly we must not let it scare us from God. Abundant grace has restored him. A brand new body. And set him free from the torture, finally rid of the cancer. Before the moment he left he briefly wrested from death, suddenly opened his eyes, said,
“I SEE EVERYTHING. I SEE EVERYTHING.”

And I will never forget it, the peace and the comfort you displayed through a pain that I can only imagine. The loss of a child to the torture of cancer. Help me. Because I can only imagine how you recovered, kept your faith and held the brightness of life inside the smile of a child you had to bury. And I will never forget him or your steadfast faith. No, I will never forget you. Now six or seven years later, I'm devoid of all faith. I am empty of comfort and I am weary of waiting. though I've felt nowhere what you have, I see nothing at all. Though I've felt nowhere what he did, my eyes are closed.


Lyrics submitted by eltroyo11

I See Everything song meanings
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5 Comments

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  • +1
    My InterpretationAnyone else maybe wonder if the line "when God abandoned him", has a double meaning? As if to say the boy was saying " Jesus suffered worse when Gopd abandoned him"...and/or also " he told me last night, when God abandoned him". I mean the writer of the journal seems to keep their faith so well but you can't help but wonder the way it was written THAT way
    ErrorCodeon April 20, 2013   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI am empty of comfort and I am weary of waiting. though I've felt nowhere what you have, I see nothing at all. Though I've felt nowhere what he did, my eyes are closed.

    he hasnt suffered like this boy has, yet he has lost faith and cant find comfort in anything. unlinke the boy, he sees nothing, and his eyes are closed, meaning he is blind to everything.
    Arcson March 03, 2012   Link
  • 0
    My Interpretationthe boy suffered terribly and still the was able to go peacefully.
    yet he (the narrator in this song) cant seem to find faith or live comfortably, and he hasnt even had to deal with anything like cancer. he'll never forget his teacher and her son being able to hold such steadfast faith in the face of death when he can't even do it in daily life with his own struggles.
    soulglowactivaturon April 06, 2012   Link
  • 0
    My InterpretationThere is a very religion theme to the whole piece, which explains why he yelled "I SEE EVERYTHING" as he left this world. He would look over them and everything as he passed onto the afterlife.
    oneupe1evenon August 01, 2013   Link
  • 0
    My InterpretationI think that maybe the "I SEE EVERYTHING" line was more about what he saw after he left the world. That he saw everything clearly now because he was no longer suffering.
    The narrator contrasts and says that his eyes are closed and that he'll never forget the steadfast faith of the boy and his mother, so maybe he is saying that though he's never felt anything close to what this boy and his family has felt, one day his eyes may be opened as well.
    morgan7849on October 21, 2013   Link

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