Everybody wants a reason for everything.
It's so much easier with someone or something to blame.

I've always struggled at the root of the problem.
Has it been absence or my constant lack of defense?

I've never spent a lot on finding a remedy. I guess I figured that it hurt for a reason. I guess that's why I've always turned to writing it down. Not just in stories, but the letters in between.
And I guess that's why it haunts the pages of everything. To self-examine.

I think the thing is that I shut off from everything. From friends and family and my own ambitions. From having fun. I just shut off from everything. Self-defeating? Yeah, probably. But I don't know that I had total control over it. And I'm not sure it even matters why. Sometimes things happen and you can't do anything. Plus, I'm the only one who deals with it anyway. So if everyone could do me a favor and just put their fingers down I'd - and keep your mouths -

Sorry. I know I seem angry. I'm not, I... I promise. I just know I did this to me. And I will deal with it accordingly. And I don't need opinions from those never a part of it. Don't need them pointing out my problems, they're mine. Don't need reminders I know better than anyone.

And yeah, I know I should be finding another way. I know that I should be out seeking a substitute. But just forgetting never really made sense to me.

So, I haven't been.

Do I feel embarrassed about it? I think you know the answer to that. I think you'd probably feel a little bit embarrassed for me, wouldn't you?

I know I should've moved on ages ago, been happy already, but it's never been that easy for me. Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.

I know I've only ever tried a handful of times to sever this thing torturing me. It never got me anywhere, with anyone. No friendship or hobby, no lover's bed worked. But looking back I maybe never tried hard enough, and it is my fault.

Maybe I never tried at all.

Lyrics submitted by eltroyo11, edited by ChipperSpiff

A Letter song meanings
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  • +5
    General Commenti swear it feels like he pulled all of these lines out of my own fucked-up head.
    charcoalsketchon September 26, 2011   Link
  • +1
    General CommentIdk maybe Im just personalizing these lyrics but I can see a lot of parallels between this song and a break up I went through with this beautiful girl who unfortunatly struggled with self image and in her youth had a eating disorder...
    she broke up out of the blue, only later did I realize my being there, even though I was "exactly what she needed", was driving her to relapse.
    the first half is what I at first felt like but now I realize the second half of the song really has more to do with her obviously this wasnt easy for her and I wish I had acted differently.

    "Everybody wants a reason for everything.
    It’s so much easier with someone or something to blame.
    I’ve always struggled at the root of the problem.
    Has it been absence or my constant lack of defense?"

    I harped over why she would leave if only I knew how much harder the experience was for her I would understand
    "Sorry. I know I seem angry. I’m not, I…I promise. I just know I did this to me. And I will deal with It accordingly. And I don’t need opinions from those never a part of it. Don’t need them pointing Out my problems, they’re mine. Don’t need reminders I know better than anyone."

    but IT was a problem that was around long before she knew me and unfortunately it has survived longer than I did in her life.

    I only hope the next man in my position treats her as well as I did, but with more understanding

    "I know I should’ve moved on ages ago, been happy already, but it’s never been that easy for Me. Or maybe it was me that made it so hard."
    Loser-faceon February 02, 2012   Link
  • +1
    General Comment@ Loser-face I tend to have problems with self-image myself and this song is almost exactly what I've thought and felt since I can remember.

    You really do feel guilty and embarrassed and I have shut myself off from people a lot. People that are close to you always want to deal with my problems for me but like in the song I always think "they're my own problems. let me fix them" and I never end up fixing them.

    JAKEONFIREEon September 29, 2012   Link
  • +1
    My InterpretationI feel this is a suicide letter or about self-harm ... if you've been in these places you would probably understand my reasoning. Read the lyrics with that in mind. Agree or disagree?
    Suzanne52on February 27, 2014   Link
  • 0
    General CommentDamn :/
    IMABEARon October 30, 2011   Link
  • 0
    My InterpretationIts obvious this song is a suicide letter
    "And I will deal with it accordingly" = suicide
    this song gives a lot of truth because most people think that depression can be dealt with in every situation. this person in the song came to no one for help. they were probably bullied because the mention of embarrassment, and opinion. the person hates him/her self because he/she thinks everyone else hates them. sometimes life gets so hard no matter what anyone says or does you just feel like it will never get better. than you blame yourself. this song represents what every person has felt at least once in there life
    mastodon53on December 23, 2014   Link
  • 0
    My InterpretationI don't think that it is a suicide letter necessarily, but I personally interpret this as narrator struggling with suicidal thoughts.

    I was diagnosed with clinical depression at a young age. I have always struggled with that and self-harm. People act like you can "just stop" or "turn it off." "Hey, just don't think about it." "Cheer up." All that noise. You think I would think and act the way that I do if I could just turn all of this off? I wouldn't. It's not a choice. Sometimes, I can't feel anything. I have become numb, as cliche as that sounds. That is where the "I think the thing is that I shut off from everything" bit comes in, which I have learned is a sign of depression. My friends would always try to get me to smoke/drink/do drugs with them to take my mind off of things, but I never saw the point in it. I would just have to deal with my problems later. You can keep running, but you cannot hide.

    I tried to kill myself when I was 16 and I was held in an institution because of it. Even since then, people have treated me differently. I still struggle with these things. I may have gotten much better at it, but there is no "cure." Now that I am doing better, however, sometimes I wonder if I ever really did try before this... I still wonder if I am really trying if I still get bad.

    I just don't see this as a suicide letter or as a letter to anyone in particular, really. I think the narrator just needed to let some of the noise out. You wonder if your sicknesses ail you because you let them, or if it is simply because they will be there regardless of what you do to combat them. This is just how I see it.
    crabrangoonyon December 25, 2014   Link
  • 0
    General CommentExactly how i feel. I believe this person or the way the singer is singing this.. it has so much meaning, no doubt some suicidal thoughts are included.
    BearieBreeon November 04, 2015   Link
  • 0
    My OpinionI think this song is about depression and suicide.
    It really connects with me.
    I do suffer with depression and have dealt with suicidal thoughts.
    The narrator is trying to blow off some steam and let their voice be heard.
    They feel like no one is listening to them.
    "I think the thing is that I shut off from everything. From friends and family and my own ambitions." The narrator thinks that everyone hates him/her.
    When I was depressed I tended to shut out everyone and that caused me to get more depressed because no one would try to stop me so i thought they hated me.

    That's what this song means to me.
    ~aestheticdots~on November 16, 2016   Link

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