After sundown, before sleeping, I am the worst of me. I am a mess of these
Old themes and the murmur of half-dreams whisper seductively and
Stage scenes.

It's fear fiction, these visions, caught somewhere between delusion and prophesy.
What I haven't done, what I've wanted to, and what I fear you have
Becomes reality here.

Bright lights in the young night keep to the beat.
A classic party scene, crowded and interesting.
No love, no life, no history.
Just touch, just chemistry, just
A roaring undercurrent simple and sensory.
Young bodies, warm skin, perfect symmetry and
It's a moment, harmless. It's energy.
It's like medicine,
It's self-discovery.

See, all the secrets I keep, why are they secrets?

It's only temporary, that fleeting feeling of warmth,
Just a flash before the line gets blurry,
Between a longing for more than what the body wants now and
What the body wants now more than anything.
Was it integrity that kept my hands to myself or
Just the thought of getting too far ahead of you?
Was it that I got too tired of the consequence?
Or was I just scared?

I only know I never wanted to get left behind.

No pauses, not a second guess.
First a swaying then a stumble then a swagger.
They're just movements towards feeling. It doesn't matter
Neither hesitates to carry on a kind of energy,
Sweat and block out everything to
Find every aperture and compel the animal parts.
Fan flames, taste fruit, taste bitter fruit.
Just trying to learn how all the wires in the body work.
Just trying to feel it out, it's like medicine.
Trap the healing in whatever bed they end up in.

I want to feel it out. I want to know how it works.
I want to know if it was worth it to worry,
About the ghosts I feared would haunt the memory,
About the damage that I'm sure the fear has done to me now.
I want to know what it is in me that won't follow through
Those nights the instinct takes a hold of me and pushes too.
Maybe it's only that I've never gotten over you.

Or am I still scared?

I see the church steps, a vision. Is there fiction in this one too?
It's true, I've made a tale of it here, still, it's a little unclear who's been haunting who.
And time can be such a funny thing, always moving to the future
Glorifying the past and amplifying the pain in frames and glass.
So was our touch half as sacred as I've made it seem
Or just another fabrication of a half-dream?
Just those chemicals, the adolescent love.
Just us trying to grasp onto meaning,
Onto a purpose,
Onto a sense that
Something spiritual releases when the feeling hits.

And when the feeling hits.

And in that moment sparks and harps play out
A sweeping melody through fog and fantasy
And in that moment there's an honesty instinctive and pure but
It departs like it came, rapid and bearing no more
Than fleeting ecstasy of natural harmony.
They fear the notes being played and try to sing along.
Don't be ashamed, be free to the feeling. Don't be ashamed, keep feeling.
But find it: a body that makes sense.

I've felt it.


Lyrics submitted by caroliness

The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit song meanings
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5 Comments

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  • +5
    General CommentIt's a song about the way so many young adults enter into casual sexual relationships. The narrator wants to do the same, but he can't bring himself to. He can see the beauty in the momentary connection, saying "It's like medicine. It's self discovery" but he also sees that the connections are temporary and he can't handle watching people leave, even if he only cared about them for a single night.

    The root of this fear is that he's been left before. There's a past love he can't get over. The line "Was it integrity that kept my hands to myself or just the thought of getting too far ahead of you?" might indicate that he still keeps a vain hope that they might get back together one day.

    As the song ends he wonders if he's been placing too much value on his past relationship. Maybe it wasn't as good as he remembers it. Maybe it was no more complex than the fleeting relationships he's been avoiding. He ends proclaiming that temporary love is better than no love. He asks us to open ourselves up to love so that we might eventually find "a body that makes sense" or in other words, our true love
    krikitarmyon September 21, 2011   Link
  • +1
    General Comment"time can be such a funny thing: always moving to the future, glorifying the past, and amplifying the pain in frames and glass."

    beautiful.
    <3
    charcoalsketchon September 26, 2011   Link
  • +1
    General CommentThis is fucking poetry.
    stormageddon1on November 17, 2015   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI noticed something.
    "I see the church steps, a vision." I think this is a reference to the song 'Nine' from here hear III where he says "I recall on those church steps when i moved to kiss your chest."
    Also in 'Nine' he says "I should have stopped to paint our picture, captured honest, pure affection, just to document the difference between attraction and connection." and in this song he says "So was our touch half as sacred as i've made it seem"

    I really think there is a correlation between what he's talking about which really gives this song a lot more depth.
    IMABEARon October 05, 2011   Link
  • 0
    General Commentfor me this song brings me back to high school parties, all those hormones, people ready, willing, scared, nervous, drunk, high... "Between a longing for more than what the body wants now and
    What the body wants now more than anything..." i can remember how seeing a girl i liked, wanted, yearned for, made me feel like exploding...
    'more than anything'..."i am the worst of me" perfect description of my thoughts as a stared at short skirts in the young night...what a truly great song...meaning so much to so many im sure
    adacus67on August 29, 2012   Link

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