"Addict With a Pen" as written by Tyler Joseph...
Hello
We haven't talked in quite some time
I know
I haven't been the best
Of sons, hello, I've been traveling in the desert of my mind
And I
Haven't found a drop
Of life
I haven't found a drop
Of you, I haven't found a drop
I haven't found a drop
Of water

Water

I try desperately to run through the sand
As I hold the water in the palm of my hand
'Cause it's all that I have and it's all that I need and
The waves of the water mean nothing to me
But I try my best and all that I can
To hold tightly onto what's left in my hand
But no matter how, how tightly I will strain
The sand will slow me down and the water will drain
I'm just being dramatic, in fact, I'm only at it again
As an addict with a pen, who's addicted to the wind
As it blows me back and forth, mindless, spineless, and pretend
Of course I'll be here again, see you tomorrow, but it's the end of today
End of my ways as a walking denial
My trial was filed as a crazy suicidal head case
But you specialize in dying, you hear me screaming "father"
And I'm lying here just crying, so wash me with your water

Water

Hello
I haven't talked in quite some time
I know
I haven't been the best
Of sons, hello, I've been traveling in the desert of my mind
And I
I haven't found a drop
Of life
I haven't found a drop
Of you
I haven't found a drop
I haven't found a drop
Of water


Lyrics submitted by tavman, edited by austinedward

"Addict With a Pen" as written by Joseph Tyler Harris

Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

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Addict With a Pen song meanings
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16 Comments

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  • +15
    Song MeaningSeveral of Twenty One Pilots' songs have lyrics that COULD be interpreted as being Christian in nature, but this one is pretty obvious. It's a prayer. He's talking to God, the Father, at the end of another day. And the water is the "living water" of Christ. There's a lot of clever imagery in this song. For those of us Christians who are struggling to stay in relationship with Christ, it's very relatable.
    Moonbeam86on April 28, 2013   Link
  • +13
    General CommentThis song is a Christian Song. The water stands for God, The Holy Spirit, and Jesus. The sand is the world, or in greek "Cosmos". Basically he has Jesus an wants to walk with him and do his work but he trying to be in the world as well. Matthew 6:24 proves this. He needs his healing.
    Pjaynesson August 15, 2012   Link
  • +12
    General CommentI know people think this song is all Christian meaning, but I am pretty much an Atheist. This does not mean that the true meaning is wrong, I agree, it's about Jesus or whatever, and that's awesome, but my personal interpretation reminds me of a son and father who are distant and the son writes this song to his dad explaining how they havent been talking and that he misses him and needs him and how he is struggling in life, and he needs his father's wisdom and support that he has little of, which reminds me of the part where the singer says "I hold the water in the palm of my hand" referring to his memories, wisdom, and support from his father. When the verse continues and the water is lost, i believe it means that his relationship with his father is basically ruined and that the son is alone with no water, which can represent a necessity of life, especially in the desert. And a son needs his father, so the water and the desert have a lot of meaning to me.
    Shane73607on February 07, 2015   Link
  • +5
    My InterpretationTyler is writing about how he has been away from God for a long time at the beginning of the song. He hasn't talked to him for quite some time and he feels that without God he is missing some of the water of life.
    The desert of his mind is a reflection of being lost without God in sin, and that is all in his head. The sin comes from him saying that he "hasn't been the best".
    The remainder of the song is about Tyler trying to find just a drop of water, which is him trying to get back to God but he isn't reaching him.
    The best way to explain the Christian view of this song occurs when he says "You hear me screaming/Father/And I'm lying here just crying/So wash me with your water".
    Simply a brilliant song, and great representation of finding God.
    zfoslom31on January 22, 2014   Link
  • +2
    My OpinionHello
    We haven't talked in quite some time
    I know
    I haven't been the best
    Of sons

    no quite sure about this first part.

    Hello
    I've been traveling in
    The desert of my mind
    And I
    Haven't found a drop
    Of life
    I haven't found a drop
    Of you
    I haven't found a drop
    Of water

    he might be talking about how hes trying to search through his mind to find some meaning of himself, and trying to find some happy thoughts abut himself or someone he loves (a drop of you)

    I try desperately to run through the sand
    As I hold the water
    In the palm of my hand
    Cause it's all that I have
    It's all that I need and

    he might be talking about im running through life, and getting stuck in problem desperately trying to keep the water (the things that matter to him) from spilling.

    The waves of the water
    Mean nothing to me
    But I try my best
    And all that I can to
    Hold tightly onto
    What's left in my hand
    But no matter how
    How tightly I will strain
    The sand will slow me down
    And the water will drain

    he might be talking about how as hard as he tries, he can never keep the water (the things that matter to him) safe, but he cant because the sand (problems in his life) is draging him down and he cant stop the water from draining so hes slowly losing everything.

    I'm just being dramatic
    In fact,
    I'm only at it again
    As an addict with a pen
    Who's addicted to the wind
    As it blows me back and fourth
    Mindless, spineless, and pretend
    Of course I'll be here again
    See you tomorrow
    But it's the end of today
    End of my ways

    he might be talking about how hes just over reacting and hes just overthinking it all the time and hes just "at it again" - saying he writes about this stuff all the time and hes getting sick of himself doing that.

    As a walking denial
    My trial was filed as a crazy
    Suicidal head case

    he might be talking about how hes in denial about his whatever he is talking about and every time he tries to talk about whatever it, people just call him a "crazy suicidal head case"

    But you specialize in dying
    You hear me screaming
    Father
    And I'm lying here just crying
    So wash me with your water

    again, not sure about this, there might be a religious meaning behind this,

    im not saying this is the actual meaning, these are just my thoughts
    sstressedouton May 31, 2015   Link
  • +2
    General Comment"Hello
    We haven't talked in quite some time
    I know
    I haven't been the best
    Of sons"

    He is speaking to God, referring to himself as his son (as we are all God's children according to Christian belief). By saying he isn't the best of sons, he is saying that he hasn't been a good Christian and has had a strained relationship with God. It has been a while since he's prayed.

    "Hello
    I've been traveling in
    The desert of my mind
    And I
    Haven't found a drop
    Of life
    I haven't found a drop
    Of you
    I haven't found a drop
    I haven't found a drop
    Of water"

    I believe that in this verse, he is stating that his belief in God has been weakening, and that a relationship with God is virtually nonexistent since when he searches his mind he cannot seem to locate any faith.

    "I try desperately to run through the sand
    As I hold the water
    In the palm of my hand
    Cause it's all that I have
    And it's all that I need and
    The waves of the water
    Mean nothing to me
    But I try my best
    And all that I can to
    Hold tightly onto
    What's left in my hand
    But no matter how
    How tightly I will strain
    The sand will slow me down
    And the water will drain"

    "Water" is holy, it's representing his faith here. The sand represents the world. He is trying to hold on to his faith and he walks through the world and all his struggles. However, no matter how much he tries to hold on to his faith, the world will begin to "drain" it out of him until he has no faith left.

    "I'm just being dramatic
    In fact,
    I'm only at it again
    As an addict with a pen
    Who's addicted to the wind
    As it blows me back and forth
    Mindless, spineless, and pretend
    Of course I'll be here again
    See you tomorrow
    But it's the end of today
    End of my ways
    As a walking denial
    My trial was filed as a crazy
    Suicidal head case
    But you specialize in dying
    You hear me screaming
    Father
    And I'm lying here just crying
    So wash me with your water"

    He is saying that he is overreacting and that he just writes what he's thinking on the spot. The wind seems to represent the troubles in his life and he's trying to overcome them. He is stating that he will be praying again tomorrow, but that today he's going to to stop denying that he needs God. It appears that no one else is helping him and that he just been labeled "crazy" and "suicidal" by others. He is asking God to help him, he needs God in his life as he is struggling and asking to wash him with his water, which means saving him.
    ValThePowon July 12, 2015   Link
  • +2
    MemoryAs a teenager sometimes life can suck right? But Jesus I feel has reached out to me when I was younger but I have been drifting with all these new urban theories and myths I've been falling away from God but after hearing this song it made me really think about my faith and it really shows how much God can change a person like Tyler in this song because he is Christian and I feel the Same is happening to me but slowly and i listen to this song to help me remind myself of what I should focus on
    Aidanlockett1on March 29, 2016   Link
  • +2
    My InterpretationBut you specialize in dying
    You hear me screaming
    Father
    And I'm lying here just crying
    So wash me with your water

    "Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean. Your filth will be washed away, and you will no longer worship idols." Ezekiel 36:25

    This song is so beautiful and has so much imagery.

    I think it speaks of how Tyler can find no satisfaction in this world.
    He tries to hold onto what is left of his faith but this world won't let him.
    Yet even that drop that he has left is all that he needs. If he can hang onto it.

    Stay Alive!
    Lastfalconon August 29, 2016   Link
  • +1
    My OpinionI think this song is about love with a person which is about to end and the main character is trying his best to keep it alive. Basically the water in this song is love, he's holding that little of relationship and love in his hand not letting it die, and it's all that he needs, he doesn't need any other people and their feelings (the waves of the water mean nothing to me) and he realizes that no matter what he does it will end anyway. Sand is probably a metaphor of problems or something like that. And supposingly Tyler doesn't have a father, he just asks for his help support and love again which he was supposed to be taking whole his life.
    However the song might as well be about the God, or a father.
    Iwannabeaheroon July 16, 2013   Link
  • +1
    Song MeaningAs someone who has struggled with faith and continues to struggle with it, this song is exactly what that is, a struggle with faith. Water has a very deep meaning in the bible. And he talks about it various times.

    "I haven't found a drop of water." -- This is a reference to being spiritually thirsty. It's when one is lacking love, motivation, meaning through God.

    "Hold the water in my hand." -- Referring to God's word and love. Everything he needs to cure his spiritual thirstiness.

    "So wash me with your water." -- A reference to baptism, a spiritual cleansing through God. Forgiveness.

    In the end of the day this song is about the struggle of doubt. He is doubting God and wants bad to believe, but it is very hard for him. He keeps searching for the meaning through God, but hasn't found it. He screams out to God to save him, "wash me with your water." But he still struggles with that doubt. This is a good song to accompany their song "Doubt."
    will102081on September 05, 2016   Link

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