LUKE: …Because, playin’ funny music’s what he’s all about.
STYLES: He’ll take your radio station, turn it inside out.
J.T.: Livin’ in dementia is mental, not physical.
LUKE: With Dr. Demento, and Will gettin' Whimsical.
STYLES: At your beck and call, they will do what you please.
J.T.: Call 562-ODD-TUNE, and they’ll play “Dead Puppies”.
LUKE: Doc has
ALL: twenty-seven
STYLES: years and countin’ on the air.
LUKE: Will’s only got ten,
ALL: But what do we care?

LUKE: Most funniest people,
STYLES: They get top billin’.
J.T.: I get more laughs
ALL: From the Doctor and William!

(*Fire at will.* *Fire at will.* *Fire at will.* *Fire at will, fire at will, fire at will.* *Fire at will!*)

STYLES: The Demented News is on every week, and Will’s re-
ALL: portin’
STYLES: the ca-
ALL: vortin’
STYLES: of
J.T.: Every freak.
LUKE: Even crop field hedgehogs,
STYLES: Are punny and witty,
LUKE: At the Land
J.T.: of
LUKE: Dementia
J.T.: in
LUKE: Cul-
J.T.: ver
LUKE: City!
STYLES: Will’s at home,
ALL: Playin’ his Sega,
STYLES: Takin’ out a girly by the name of Enya.
STYLES: His hero’s dressed like a bat,
ALL: But don’t you ask him, “Where’s the bathroom’s at?!”
LUKE: The news is always funny,
J.T.: Man, there is no doubt.
(*Slow down, mister!* *I’m spittin’ mad!* *Ah, blow it out!*
*Hang onto them hats and glasses!* *Are we startin’ this again?*)
J.T.: Because he’s
ALL: got
J.T.: More sound
ALL: bites
J.T.: than
ALL: C.N.N.!

LUKE: Most funniest people,
STYLES: They get top billin’.
J.T.: I get more laughs,
ALL: From the Doctor and William.

ALL: Pico and Sepulveda, Pico and Sepulveda,
Pico and Sepulveda, Pico and Sepulveda!
Pico and Sepulveda! Pico and Sepulveda!
Pico and Sepulveda! Pico and Sepulveda!

ALL: Home coming shootin’, and carrot juice drinkin’!
ALL: Capitol Steppin', while Ray Stevens is streakin’!
J.T.: Tom Lehrer’s prepare-ered, Stan Freberg does Elvis,
STYLES: Col’ foolin’,
LUKE: Vestabule-in’,
J.T.: And my bouffant bulbous.
STYLES: Voobaha, and a bucket of fish heads,
LUKE: And if I was in Monty Python, my name would be ‘Two-Sheds’.
J.T.: Saint
LUKE: George-in’,
J.T.: Time
LUKE: Warpin’, playing every big hit.
ALL: The o - ther D. - J.s sound - like shaving cream!
LUKE: Most funniest people,
STYLES: They get top billin’.
J.T.: I get more laughs,
ALL: From the Doctor and William.

(*Aaah! Noooo! I can’t take it! Nooo! Ahhahhah! – That’s, that’s okay William! That’s okay William! That’s okay!*)

STYLES: It’s the second week of deer camp, drinkin’ da beer.
(*Open up the door, it’s Dave!*)
ALL: Man, Dave’s not here!
(*Who?*)
LUKE: Dungeons and Dragons,
J.T.: And the Dead Alewives
LUKE: Are havin’ Mountain Dew right at the Funny Five.
J.T.: Number Four is
STYLES: ‘Lijah,
J.T.: And Three,
STYLES: Muddah, Hello.
LUKE: With Fat at Number Two and Number One is as follows:
ALL: The Doctor And William by the great Luke Ski,
ALL: And his rowdy crew, known as Psycho Potpourri!

LUKE: Most funniest people,
STYLES: They get top billin’.
J.T.: I get more laughs,
ALL: From the Doctor and William.

LUKE: He has no patients,
STYLES: And no penicillin,
J.T.: Just thousands of tracks,
ALL: From the Doctor and William.
LUKE: With surfin’ old Mimi,
STYLES: And Popsicle Phil, and
J.T.: The Demented News,
ALL: With the Doctor and William.
LUKE: KY102
STYLES: If they mess up, I’ll kill ‘em,
J.T.: I must get laughs,
ALL: From the Doctor and William.
LUKE: Bugs Bunny-est people,
(*Eeeeh, what’s up Doc?*)
STYLES: (E. Fudd voice:) I get mowe waffs fwom the Doctow and William.
LUKE: Simpson-niest people,
(*Whi-Whi-Whimsical Will here!*)
J.T.: I get more news from the Doctor and William.

LUKE: Simpleton-niest people,
J.T.: Like Spike and the City Slickers.
LUKE: Home-spun-niest people,
J.T.: Like Homer and Jethro, man.
LUKE: Unison-niest people,
J.T.: Like Bobs and the Foremen.
LUKE: Accordion-niest people,
J.T.: “Weird Al” Yankovic.
LUKE: Records spun-niest people,
J.T.: This is the right way to parody,
LUKE: Number One-niest people,
J.T.: The Beastie Boys.
LUKE: The rerun-niest, punniest, funniest people,
J.T.: I hope they put this song on the air. Yeah.

LUKE: (Dr. Demento voice:) And on the cool checkin’, center stage on the mic, and we’re putting it on wax, it’s the new style! Woo woo woo!…


Lyrics submitted by JohnnyLurg

The Doctor and William song meanings
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