"I Won't Be Home for Christmas" as written by and Roy Zimmerman....
I Won't Be Home For Christmas
Don't set a place for me
Have my share of good times there
While I'm 'cross the sea

If you should pray at midnight
Pray for my soul to keep
I'd dream of you on Christmas
But I'm afraid to fall asleep

Spoken:

You know, if I was home, I'd have the love of a good woman.
And who needs that when you've got the adoration of a grateful Iraqi people?
I'd be with my little baby daughter.
But her mom told her not to talk to strangers.

I'd be with all the people I love:
My recruiter, he drives a Hummer, too
My Senator, he's got a son my age he just bailed out of a D.U.I
Cause Freedom isn't Free

And my mom
I can see her answering the door
And the guy says, "Ma'am, I'm happy to report we saved your tax cut,
Here's a thousand dollars and a shoebox with your boy in it."

No, I'm glad to be here
Defeating Osama bin Laden
Osama bin Laden -- He was the guy who ...
Oh, never mind
So this one goes out to all those balding billionaires
In that Neocon think tank who love me
Thank God they never served in the military
Or I wouldn't be here tonight

And if I should die
And the Devil is standing there with his clipboard
He's gonna say, "You spent Christmas in Tikrit?
I can't beat that, get the Hell outta here"

I'd dream of you on Christmas
But I'm afraid to fall asleep


Lyrics submitted by BanachTarski

I Won't Be Home for Christmas song meanings
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