Frog: Watch the Frog:

Me: What frog?

Frog: Oh.

Me: That's right.

Frog: It ain't the frog without Me:

Me: Heck, it ain't a network anymore.

Frog: What?

Me: You didn't hear the news?

Frog: I was fired in 2005. What happened?

Me: The WB folded last year.

Frog: They deserved it.

Me: Damn right. Nobody watched it anymore.

Frog: Nobody?

Me: Oh. I watched Charmed last year.

Frog: I thought you were scared of Alyssa Milano.

Me: No. It's Holly Marie Combs that scares Me.

Frog: Why?

Me: She could wrestle Hulk Hogan.

Frog: So you wrote an Alyssa Milano waltz?

Me: For Stupid Audio 3.0

Frog: I know. I was one of the 27 people who bought your CD.

Me: Thanks.

Frog: You're welcome:

Me: Whatcha been up to?

Frog: Not much since UPN folded last year.

Me: You were going to be the UPN frog?

Frog: I was for 2006 until it ... um ... croaked without Me:

Me: I'm glad WWE Smackdown made it to the CW.

Frog: Isn't that the Hee Haw Network?

Me: CW. What a stupid name:

Frog: They should reverse the letters.

Me: Why?

Frog: Because the shows are so crappy, they should call it the W-C!

Me: I heard that the WC can seat 15,000

Frog: Not all at once.

Me: Did you see Veronica Mars?

Frog: No, but I saw Suzy Saturn.

Me: Was she driving a ... Mercury?

Frog: Yes, and eating a Mars bar.

Me: Did she have the body of a Venus?

Frog: Yea, and her headlights were a big a Jupiter.

Me: Bet you she could have named that Nep...Tune.

Frog: Suzy should give me a ring sometime:

Me: So the WB Plutoed you two years ago?

Frog: Big mistake.

Me: So when you got fired from the WB, did you show them your...

Frog: CW sucks too. I'll try working for ABC.

Me: Forget it. It's a Mickey Mouse network.

Frog: Run by Goofy?

Me: They already have a Frog. They bought Kermit a few years ago.

Frog: Any other networks?

Me: NBC.

Frog: Nobody's watching it anymore. How about CBS?

Me: Too old.

Frog: Fox?

Me: A toad by the name of Rupert Murdoch is running it.

Frog: My Network TV.

Me: Too dumb of a name.

Frog: ION?

Me: Too weird of nane.

Frog: What should I do?

Me: Work for Apple.

Frog: Why?

Me: They're working on an .. iPad.

Frog: Very funny.

Me: Work for the presidential elections.

Frog: Why?

Me: At least you'll be employed on .. leap years.

Frog: OK. One more pun and you'll be sorry.

Me: Why? I didn't mean to ... ribbit in.

Frog: That does it!

Me: What are you going to do?

Frog: I'm going to tell you.

Me: OK. Go ahead.

Frog: I'm going to go crazy.

Me: You can't do that.

Frog: Why not?

Me: That act was already taken.

Frog: By who?

Crazy Frog: noises.

Me: That's who.

Frog: That jerk ruined my life.

Me: How?

Frog: I was this close to doing a ringtone, but the labels told me to...

Me: Hop on outta here!

Frog: And they signed the Crazy Frog instead?

Me: Yea.

Frog: That frog sucks.

Me: He had a few hit records in 2005.

Frog: I used to sing back in the day when people once sang real songs.

Me: Why can't you sing anymore?

Frog: Because I got a ... person ... in my throat.

Me: It's a good thing they didn't sign you.

Frog: Why?

Me: Because the Crazy Frog is now a has-been singer.

Frog: He was a one-hit wonder anyway.

Me: It got some airplay on DFSX.

Frog: You're kidding.

Me: It's true.

Frog: Can I work for you?

Me: No.

Frog: I need a job.

Me: DFSX has shut down.

Frog: Why?

Me: I sold it to Clear Channel, and they took it Top 40.

Frog: Why did you sell it?

Me: I thought they could deal with Sound Exchange and that
moron John Simson better, but the company dumped the comedy
music format after they bought it.

Frog: Clear Channel and Sound Exchange suck.

Me: Sure does.

Frog: Those bastards!

Me: Anything on TV?

Frog: I like South Park.

Me: Family Guy.

Frog: Simpsons.

Me: Robot Chicken.

Frog: Aqua Teen.

Me: King of the Hill

Frog: The Venture Brothers

Me: Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law

Frog: Squidbillies.

Me: 12 Ounce Mouse.

Frog: Futurama.

Me: American Dad.

Frog: Sealab 2021

Me: Space Ghost

Frog: Your Space Ghost song sucked.

Me: So does anything sung by Paris Hilton.

Frog: At least she's hot.

Me: Jessica Alba is way hotter.

Frog: Keira Knightly is the hottest hot in the world.

Me: No, she isn't.

Frog: Yes, she is.

Me: Isn't.

Frog: Is.

Me: Isn't.

Frog: Is, is, is, is, is, and is!

Me: Alright. Have it your way.

Frog: I told you so.

Me. So how are we going to end this sketch?

Frog: I don't know.

Me. Let's go to my bar.

Frog: I could use a drink.

Me: I have four rows of drinks.

Frog: What are they?

Me: Let's see, we have booze on first,
Bud's on second, a wine row's on third...

Frog: So what's on the fourth row?

Me: I dunno.


Lyrics submitted by JohnnyLurg

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