Scapegoat was formed half a lifetime ago
In an Iowa algebra class
Instead of playing attention
They wrote songs about slushees and laughed
Years later, a supervolcano
Blew up the west hemipshere
Scapegoat ascended to heaven
And said "man what are we doing here?"

They went doorbell ditching at the pearly gates
Ringing the bell and running like hell
Up at the pearly gates

Saint Peter caught up to Scapegoat
As they ran through the circles of hell
He said "don't worry boys, come on back here
You guys have done very well
Algebra's really satanic
And all mathematicians are damned
But everyone up here in heaven
Is a really hardcore scapegoat fan!"

So come doorbell ditching at the pearly gates
Ring our bell and run like hell
Up at the pearly gates

"Now that you guys are in heaven
You can teach us to have fun
We may not quite understand fart jokes
But we'd all love to goose a few nuns
In heaven you won't find TI-85s
But slushees rain down from the sky
There's nudity in every movie
And everyone swears all the time!"

He said "you get free fries at mcdonalds
And on sundays a free milkshake too
And jesus has all of your records
And he can't wait to hang out with you
And make prank phone calls to the devil
And maybe record a few songs
But I'll keep him out of your hair boys
If you don't want him tagging him along"

When you're doorbell ditching at the pearly gates
Ringing the bell and running like hell
Here at the pearly gates

As the heavenly host sang
"All these shlushees in front of me
How many slushees can there be
All these slushees for me to see
Slushees for wilford brimley
Slushees are heavenly
Give my slushees immediately


Lyrics submitted by TheIntimindator27

Doorbell Ditching at the Pearly Gates song meanings
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