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I thought I felt a spark, thought I saw a flame
When something changed in you, who took the blame?
My plan was foolproof as I became a fortress of your heart

Love, the kind that kills and scars
Will make you kneel and crawl to hell and back
The words that slit your throat
Will make you think of love as the new black, as what you lack
Love

The sound of letting go a side of youth
That we all set aside, when the world was new
Under the full moon, only endless rain
And absence of your heart

Love, the kind that kills and scars
Will make you kneel and crawl to hell and back
The words that slit your throat
Will make you think of love as the new black, as what you lack
Love


Lyrics submitted by imagesofme, edited by Stockholm


O song meanings
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  • +1
    Lyric Correction"And makes you even crawl" -> "And makes you kneel and crawl"
    baronvonbadguyon July 01, 2010   Link
  • +1
    General CommentThe videos are completely random and full of nothing but random bizarre images, right? Wrong. They actually tell a story that is tied into a Arabic, African, AND European legends about something quite unexpected... Let me explain. I think I have this figured out.

    Something we should start with is looking more in depth at the continuous imagery of the white substance on Jonna Lee (the singer and woman in all of the iamamiwhoami videos), on the plants, the mud on Jonna Lee, and the constant plant references throughout all of the videos.

    So, first thing's first, what do the numbers in the first six introduction videos mean? Let's decipher them, shall we?

    699130082.451322-5.4.21.3.1.20.9.15.14.1.12:

    FIIAC**HB.DEACBB-E.D.U.C.A.T.I.O.N.A.L

    9.1.13.669321018:

    I.A.M.FFICBA*AH

    9.20.19.13.5.723378:

    I.T.S.M.E.GBCCGH

    13.1.14.4.18.1.7.15.18.1.1110:

    M.A.N.D.R.A.G.O.R.A.AAA*

    15.6.6.9.3.9.14.1.18.21.13.56155:

    O.F.F.I.C.I.N.I.R.U.M.EFAEE

    23.5.12.3.15.13.5-8.15.13.5.3383:

    W.E.L.C.O.M.E-H.O.M.E.CCHC

    Mhm. It says: "Welcome home. I am educational. It's me, Mandragora Officinirum."

    It's significant to note that one of the numbered videos spell out "mandragora" and "officinarum," otherwise known as the mandragora, or, the mandrake plant. The mandrake root, according to ancient folklore, is believed to have grown where a hanging man's semen spilled onto the ground, hence the white substance throughout the videos.

    Philip de Thaun was an Anglo-Norman who wrote a book in the first half of the 20th century. In this book "Bestiary," de Thaun, says the following about the mandrake: "It has two roots, the make of a man and a woman."

    (HA! Jonna and the mystery man!! But waittt, it gets better...) "The man who is to gather it must fly around about it; must take great care that he does not touch it - then let a dog be bound - let it be tied to it." Following these guidelines are instructions to starve the dog, then after three dogs, offer the dog some bread. Naturally, the dog will come running to the food in your hand. Then... "the dog will draw it to him; the root will break; it will send forth a cry; the dog will fall down dead." This explains the six dogs, then the following six graves/crosses in two of the introduction videos!

    (I AM AM I WHO AM I = I AM MANDRAKE. Let's continue...)

    "...if the man heard it, he would directly die - therefore, he must stop his ears and take care that he does not hear the cry. When one has the root, it is of great value for medicine, for it cures every infirmity - except only death."

    The six dogs turn up dead in the introduction videos, this is obvious at seen by the six crosses used as tombstones. I believe Jonna's character in these videos is actually one half of the root (the man being the other; in U-1, it almost seems like they are connected and unified as one) and her voice is symbolic of the mandrake's cry. The cry, as stated above, is believed to be deadly, but also a miracle plant to cure all illness (just like love and faith can be the cure for all despair and sorrow, as well as the perfect weapon to diagnose pain and agony). This is why the tags for the Youtube videos relate so much to life and death. Such examples include the following tags on the introduction videos: fetus, umbilical cord, habitat, moisture, disciple, amniotic fluid, nest, lay, mount, etc.

    Here is another paragraph I found interesting, and this imagery is in several of the iamamiwhoami videos: "A cut of the female mandrake root" ... "cases the figure of a naked woman with the plant shooting into leaf and flower from her head." (Which was blatantly seen in "N")

    Also note that mandrake superstition has been rampant through human ages. As I've said, it's associated with providing life and causing death (more often, death). Some common synonyms for the mandrake are: Satan's Apple, Mandragora, Devil's Testicles, etc. Here is another paragraph I found informative:

    "The officinarum variety is yellow-greenish; the autumnalis variety is purple. The flowers are born on separate stalks, which emerge from the centre of the leaf-rosette. They later give rise to the golden yellowish fruits, that are often referred to as 'apples', which they resemble, though their size approximates more that of a crab-apple or mirabelle. The fruit has a pleasant scent. The root can grow to over half a meter (2 feet) in length and is often strangely forked, which has given rise to anthropomorphic associations, likening their appearance to a human male or female body shape. The root has a tough brown rind but is white inside. The leaves emerge directly from the crown of the root." (Hence the crown she wears in "T") So, why is Jonna covered in black-brown while maintaining her long, blonde locks? Because her body symbolizes the root in the ground, covered in dirt, and (as stated) it has a "brown rind but is white inside."

    The white is shown in "Y" as Jonna sings in the paper house, covered in mud, and her paper dress represents the inner white inside the root. Her hair symbolizes the yellow leaves. Plain and simple. Also, in "T," Jonna is seen covered in the white substance while wearing a crown ("the leaves emerge directly from the crown of the root").

    Here is another paragraph: "Mandrake originates in the eastern Mediterranean region and is distributed throughout southern Europe, the Middle East and northern Africa, where it grows in waste places and abandoned fields in sandy and rocky, well draining soil. There is also a species that is endemic to the Himalaya. Nowadays it is cultivated in gardens north of the Alps, but doesn't naturalize there, as it needs a warm and protected setting." This is why Jonna is standing in a flower pot, surrounded by other leaves, in a greenhouse in "O." She IS the mandrake root. She needs that warm and protect setting. Get it?

    Let's address the constant use of six: six was the quantity of dogs, berries, and cats throughout the videos. Six dogs, six cats, six berries. 666, right? Well, it isn't Satanic symbolism; it's just an allusion to the devil and the end, simply because the mandrake has been called The Devil's Apple and The Devil's Testicles. The use of 666 simply signifies the end of a bond. Once you understand the mythology behind the mandrake, iamamiwhoami's videos make MUCH more sense.

    So, here's the big question: Why even use the mandrake symbolism and allusions?

    Well, the mandrake was believed to have a male and female root, right? The root belonged to one plant, one organism, one creation, one being, one idea. This can be symbolic of a love or bond that held significant meaning. However, the root was ripped from the ground and split in two. The female root shrieked, giving birth to Jonna's voice and lyrics.

    In case you haven't noticed, the lyrics are about a love / significant connection to someone or something gone horribly wrong.

    "B" is the initial love / connection.
    "O" is the sudden halt this love / connection takes.
    "U-1" is total remorse for this ending.
    "U-2" is the continued remorse.
    "N" is the insecurities brought on by this newly found independence.
    "T" is learning that one has potential by oneself, with or without this person / idea.
    "Y" is merely IAM personifying her / their hope and moving on.

    :)
    tyakon January 03, 2011   Link
  • +1
    Lyric Correction"And make you kneel and crawl" is clearly "Will make you kneel and crawl", especially in the concert and live version.
    kanetenon December 11, 2011   Link
  • 0
    General CommentThis song is definetly one of the best, the pop sound is quite amazing and her voice gorgeous as always <3

    Her project was number 3 in our top 10 on caffeinesounds' 2010 list of best albums: caffeinesounds.blogspot.com/2010/12/… feel free to check it out.
    caffeinesoundson January 08, 2011   Link
  • -2
    General CommentThere are two major themes in the VIDEOS for these songs, which is childbirth and religion, namely Jesus Christ in particular. This leads me to think that it tells the story of Mary giving birth to Jesus Christ. At the same time, however, I suspect that the videos are also about the life of Jesus, including his crucifixion and resurrection.

    In the O video, pregnancy is more of an apparent theme than the religious aspect, however. For example, the video BEGINS with a barren tree. However, when the tree is revisited at the END of the video, it has grown Mandrake Berries, signifying not only fertility (pregnancy, childbirth, etc.) but also hallucinations and visions. Mandrake Berries produce hallucinogenic effects, which could in turn be connected to the theme of religion in the videos. However, I don't believe that Jesus Christ was known for being on drugs or having visions, but I may be wrong?

    As mentioned in my analysis of the B video, however, Jonna is once again wrapped in some sort of material, this time what looks like plastic again, but it is a bigger encasement. It doesn't form-fit to her body perfectly like in B, but rather is a sort of placenta-like bubble that she is in. This once again could be a reference to fertility; just as pregnant women's bellies grow, the thing Jonna is wrapped in grows around her.

    This wrapping of the maing singer brings up the recurrent theme of drowning, too, which is (possibly) referenced in the lyrics "the words that slit your throat," "kneel and crawl to hell and back" and "Under the full moon, only endless rain." I'm not quite sure what suffocation/drowning has to do with the rest of my analysis, however. Make of it what you will.

    There are the rest of the lyrics, too, however. This song most certainly talks about love, but a certain kind of love -- Love of someone that EVERYONE loves. Jesus Christ maybe? I think so. The things that make me think of Jesus are such:

    "I became a fortress of your heart" "The sight of you that we all set aside when the world was new" "An absence of your heart" and of course the chorus "Love, the kind that kills and scars, and makes you kneel and crawl, to hell and back."

    All of these seem to reference the death of Christ, however, and how not just Mary Mother of God, but also Mary Magdalene were quite upset about his crucifixion. They were "fortresses of his heart," if you will. However, there is an "abscence of his heart" because he is dead.

    Also, the line "To hell and back" could be seen as a reference to the fact that Jesus, after being crucified, was resurrected! To hell and back, if you will (although I don't think Jesus actually went to Hell.)

    One thing is for sure though: Everyone loves Jesus, and mothers love their children, almost in the same way maybe. Not that I have had children, but the two scenarios both seem to share a divine sense of the concept of love. Who knows.
    JellyfishAndMangoeson December 27, 2010   Link

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