This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
"The audience was large and brilliant
Upon my weary heart was showered smiles, plaudits, and flowers
But beyond them, I saw thorns and troubles innumerable"
It was a pretty good GPA
We got a couple of good grades
And it sounded like a pretty good seven inch
And winter didn't seem so cold
And I had a smile for everyone I know
I was starting to get comfortable in the place that I'm in
And it used to not mean anything
It used to not mean anything
It used to not mean anything, but it really means nothing now
Nothing means anything anymore
Everything is less than zero
And I know it won't do much good
Getting drunk and sad and singing
But I'm at the end of my rope
And I feel like swinging
It was an unflattering photograph
And people saw it all over town
Hanging up in the wall above the urinal
Hear the man with the notepad say
"Yeah, they're funny, but they drink too much
Don't be surprised if they don't amount to nothing at all"
We were talking about giving up
We were talking about lying down
We were talking about tying off
Wasn't it supposed to mean something now?
Let them see you struggle and they're going to tear you apart
You ain't never been no virgin, kid, you were fucked from the start
They're all going to be laughing at you
They're all going to be laughing at you
You can't make it on merit, not on merit and merit alone
Dan McGee tried to tell me, "There ain't no more Rolling Stones"
They're all going to be laughing at you
They're all going to be laughing at you
I've been called out, cuckolded, castrated, but I survived
I am covered in urine and excrement but I'm alive
And there's a white flag in my pocket never to be unfurled
Though with their hands 'round my ankles, they bring me down for another swirl
And they tell me, "Take it easy, buddy, it's not the end of the world"
"And there and then and bathed by the rising sun
My son in his grave, in his rude-dug grave I deposited
Ending my vigil strange with that, vigil of night and battlefield dim
Vigil for boy of responding kisses, never again on earth responding
Vigil for comrade swiftly slain, vigil I never forget, how as day brighten'd
I rose from the chill ground and folded my soldier well in his blanket
And buried him where he fell"
Upon my weary heart was showered smiles, plaudits, and flowers
But beyond them, I saw thorns and troubles innumerable"
It was a pretty good GPA
We got a couple of good grades
And it sounded like a pretty good seven inch
And winter didn't seem so cold
And I had a smile for everyone I know
I was starting to get comfortable in the place that I'm in
And it used to not mean anything
It used to not mean anything
It used to not mean anything, but it really means nothing now
Nothing means anything anymore
Everything is less than zero
And I know it won't do much good
Getting drunk and sad and singing
But I'm at the end of my rope
And I feel like swinging
It was an unflattering photograph
And people saw it all over town
Hanging up in the wall above the urinal
Hear the man with the notepad say
"Yeah, they're funny, but they drink too much
Don't be surprised if they don't amount to nothing at all"
We were talking about giving up
We were talking about lying down
We were talking about tying off
Wasn't it supposed to mean something now?
Let them see you struggle and they're going to tear you apart
You ain't never been no virgin, kid, you were fucked from the start
They're all going to be laughing at you
They're all going to be laughing at you
You can't make it on merit, not on merit and merit alone
Dan McGee tried to tell me, "There ain't no more Rolling Stones"
They're all going to be laughing at you
They're all going to be laughing at you
I've been called out, cuckolded, castrated, but I survived
I am covered in urine and excrement but I'm alive
And there's a white flag in my pocket never to be unfurled
Though with their hands 'round my ankles, they bring me down for another swirl
And they tell me, "Take it easy, buddy, it's not the end of the world"
"And there and then and bathed by the rising sun
My son in his grave, in his rude-dug grave I deposited
Ending my vigil strange with that, vigil of night and battlefield dim
Vigil for boy of responding kisses, never again on earth responding
Vigil for comrade swiftly slain, vigil I never forget, how as day brighten'd
I rose from the chill ground and folded my soldier well in his blanket
And buried him where he fell"
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