[Scooter:]
Baseball's supposed to be fun!
Can't wait to hit a home run
But they got me playing the wrong position
Since they made me the statistician
I'm in numbers up to my ears!
This is going to take me years and years
And years and years and years

[Mr. Chips:]
Numbers? Scooter, did you say numbers?

[Scooter:]
Yes, numbers, Mr. Chips. Batting averages, earned run averages, team standings . . . I can probably figure this stuff out, but I'll miss batting practice.

[Mr. Chips:]
Feed me those numbers. I'll do the work.

[Scooter:]
You mean . . .

[Mr. Chips:]
Precisely!

Sit down Scooter, you're in for a treat
Numbers, you see, are just my meat

Because I'm a number cruncher
A mathematical muncher I can round numbers off
I can square them
I can line numbers up and compare them
I can change them around, rearrange them around
I can deal with them in any way you choose

I'm not a math professor
I am a data processor
I can mix numbers up and combine them
I can take them apart and align them
I can shake numbers up, I can break numbers up
I can turn then into something you can use
If you can punch them
I can crunch them
Because I'm a number cruncher

[Scooter:]
Mr. Chips, you're amazing!

[Mr. Chips:]
Elementary Scooter. A piece of cake. Just feed me the numbers and I'll process them for you.

[Scooter:]
In other words, I punch them . . .

[Mr. Chips:]
Precisely, and I crunch them.

I process numbers as quick as a flash
For whatever results you need
I process numbers into measuring tools
To measure sound and time and speed
I process numbers to find just how fast
A rocket can get to Mars
I project the future and recall the past
And I can show you a map of the stars

[Scooter:]
Wow!

[Mr. Chips:]
I process numbers into curves and lines
Display them on a graph or chart
I process numbers into colors and shapes
To make a digital work of art!

. . . A work of art!

Because I'm a number cruncher
A mathematical muncher
I can round numbers off, I can square them
I can line numbers up and compare them
I can change then around, rearrange them around
I can deal with them in any way you choose

I'm not a math professor
I am a data processor
I can mix numbers up and combine them
I can take them apart and align them
I can shake numbers up, I can break numbers up
I can turn then into something you can use

[Scooter:]
My baseball statistics?

[Mr. Chips:]
A piece of cake! But remember: First you have to punch them . . .

[Scooter:]
I know . . . then you can crunch them . . .
Because you're a number cruncher!

[Mr. Chips:]
Precisely.


Lyrics submitted by Mellow_Harsher

Number Cruncher song meanings
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