When I'm Small

I'm currently an inpatient in a mental unit for teenagers, and I've recently come across this song. This is how I interpret it:

Oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh, oh, oh, oh Lucy's underground She's got a mouth to feed Am I underground Or am I in between

In the unit I'm in, there is a girl called Lucy, who I'm guessing is Schizophrenic. I've never accepted that there's something wrong with me mentally, but Lucy has. I interpret the underground bit as being mentally ill. Am I underground? (Am I mentally ill?) Or am I in between?

Lucy's underground She's got a mouth to feed Am I underground Or am I in too deep

This bit I interpret as, am I actually mentally ill, and the reason why I haven't accepted it is because I'm 'in too deep'? As in I'm too busy living in my head and I've been living like this for so long that I don't see what it looks like from the outside, and how it isn't normal for other people.

Show me love You've got your hand on the button now Showin' love You've got your hand on the button now

I'm allowed home every weekend on 'leave', and when I have to go back Sunday night, my Mum walks me to the door and presses a button, which basically rings a bell, and then one of the nurses comes to let me in. I interpret this part as how even though I don't see it this way, my Mum is doing what she thinks is best for me by bringing me back there. She is 'showin' love'.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh

Lucy's underground, She's never comin' back Am I still alive Or has the light gone black

This bit I interpret as Lucy will maybe be this way for her whole life, because if she does have Schizophrenia (I've never really asked her, but I think she has), then I may be wrong, but I think it's one of those things you have for life. This bit I see as can I ever be 'cured', or am I too far gone to come back? Is the old me still alive, or is she dead, and this is just how I am now?

Take me underground Take me all the way Bring me to the fire Throw me in the flame

Pretty much all the time I feel very suicidal, so I interpret this part as wanting to die. Not trying to help yourself or anything, but just going along with suicidal thoughts, because its the easier thing to do, and I don't really want to stick around any longer anyway.

So, show me love You've got your hands on the button now Showin' love You've got your hand on the button now

I'd rather die, I'd rather die, Than to be with you

I interpret this bit as I'd rather die than be with myself. My head is an extremely dark place, and I'd rather die, than have to be with me anymore.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh, oh, oh, oh, (than to be with you) Oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh, oh, oh, oh, (I'd rather die) Oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh

I know that when Phantogram wrote this song, they definitely didn't write it about me, but this is just my interpretation.