This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
The old guy got sick, faded real quick
My sister and I took two planes to Chicago
Some hospital room on a Tuesday at noon
A fearful and frail eighty four year old man
Who once was so proud, always barking out loud
Now I'm helping him go to the bathroom
His place in the world once secured by a snarl
Now reduced to reluctant dependence
Two-door red sedan, that's what he drove
Now I'm out on Lake Shore, and I roll down his window
I was always amazed how an angry old man
Could make another grown man feel seven years old
"Are you making a living?" he'd snap out at me
"You're not getting much younger," that's all he would say
It was fear that was talking, and that's where he hid
And the Wizard of Oz passed it on to his kids
It was different for him, he did not have the tools
And now here his two children with the luxury to choose
We've chosen families and he moved away
On the day I got married, that's where he stayed
The last time we talked he was getting so weak
I was holding his hand, it was all he could do just to speak
Brought my mouth to his ear
I sang him two songs in a whisper
Then I kissed him goodbye, and we left him alone
About four in the morning we all heard the phone
He died how he lived, by himself, in his sleep
There was loss, there was pain and reprieve and relief
My very worst critic had drawn his last breath
And now what would I learn from my own father's death
I won't miss the judgment, the guilt or neglect
And I'll forgive who I love, but I will not forget
"I don't need a thing" that's what he would say
If I tried to get close he just pushed me away
But I did what I could and that's all that you can
And I let the rest go
I let the rest go
Oh, I let the rest go
And said goodbye to my dad
My sister and I took two planes to Chicago
Some hospital room on a Tuesday at noon
A fearful and frail eighty four year old man
Who once was so proud, always barking out loud
Now I'm helping him go to the bathroom
His place in the world once secured by a snarl
Now reduced to reluctant dependence
Two-door red sedan, that's what he drove
Now I'm out on Lake Shore, and I roll down his window
I was always amazed how an angry old man
Could make another grown man feel seven years old
"Are you making a living?" he'd snap out at me
"You're not getting much younger," that's all he would say
It was fear that was talking, and that's where he hid
And the Wizard of Oz passed it on to his kids
It was different for him, he did not have the tools
And now here his two children with the luxury to choose
We've chosen families and he moved away
On the day I got married, that's where he stayed
The last time we talked he was getting so weak
I was holding his hand, it was all he could do just to speak
Brought my mouth to his ear
I sang him two songs in a whisper
Then I kissed him goodbye, and we left him alone
About four in the morning we all heard the phone
He died how he lived, by himself, in his sleep
There was loss, there was pain and reprieve and relief
My very worst critic had drawn his last breath
And now what would I learn from my own father's death
I won't miss the judgment, the guilt or neglect
And I'll forgive who I love, but I will not forget
"I don't need a thing" that's what he would say
If I tried to get close he just pushed me away
But I did what I could and that's all that you can
And I let the rest go
I let the rest go
Oh, I let the rest go
And said goodbye to my dad
Lyrics submitted by bananahero
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