Where the exit-door leads in
he scrutinises, circling clockwise,
counting two out of the three,
slightly above the first degree

"Has there been blood?",
he asks politely.
as once a year we do explore
with my head resting on the pillow,
gateways towards
Plutonian shores.

Some are caused by downward pressure,
so don't strain when opening bowels
the simple joys of maidenhood,
the red-eyed fox is on the prowl.

Rubber-bands for arteries,
these Indian seeds do soak like fleas,
reduce the use of salts and lose some weight,
walk half an hour every day.

I openly dislike your vagueness
in handling hours we appoint,
but when you choose
your pronouns rightly,
I do silently rejoice!

Some are caused by downward pressure,
so don't strain when opening bowels.
the simple joys of maidenhood,
the red-eyed foxes on the prowl.

So listen closely, girls and boys,
this song is about haemorrhoids!
Not anyone's, but mine of course...-
a secret part I now disclose


Lyrics submitted by sheela_l

The Simple Joys of Maidenhood song meanings
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1 Comment

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  • +1
    General CommentThe comparison/contrast between maidenhood and bleeding and haemorrhoids is truly marvelous. Normally, losing virginity would be the sort of topic listeners of music would consider "highly personal". Not Anna-Varney. Haemorrhoids are a "gross" topic, but aren't the ailments of old age also personal?
    sheela_lon July 22, 2009   Link

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