The Dentist

Hwe. Huh. huh. Huh. Alegazewawazoo...
Hey!

(background noises)

I'm trying to think of something...
I got it!

Dentists
Don't have
Best friends.

Dentists
Collect
Tooth Brushes. Stuff

Sometimes
They make
Little kids cry

Sometimes
they make
Ladies wear braces

Dentists!
You're not my friend!

All that is!
You're making my gums bleed!
Auuuuuuuuugh!

Dentists
Don't got best friends

And I'm
Not
Cross
In floss (???)

I
Think
Mine
Is a homosexual

Because he
Wears
Yellow ties
Sometimes

I
Love
When
You're gonna put me under

I
Think
It's nice.
To get those pills

Conditionally

Dentists
Don't make friends
With their patients

Open
Your mouth
Real wide

Dentists
Say "Floss
Every chance you get"

It's just so
They can sell you
More cans of floss

I eat,
Pancakes
For breakfast

Every day!
And I don't floss!
No cavities!

You're wrong!

So dentist
don't make friends
in the (unintelligible)

And they say "I don't like you muffin
I don't like you muffin
I don't like you muffin
you're bad"

(Uninteligable)!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Dental Hygienists!

I smell meat!
A lot!
The nice people in the waiting room!

They're all scared!
Please go,
to hurt their gums!

Our patient,
has a patient,
In the dentists chair.

Oh no don't be scared.
He's just gonna touch your mouth a little, don't be scared.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
oh. *cough*

He'll give me,
A filling

It's time
To give me
A filling

Breath in
The Nitrous
Oxide

I need
Novocaine
On my tongue

Pump in
The Nitrous
Oxide

I'm feeling alright
Alright
Alright

Alright

Beautiful
Dental
Hygienist

I know you're stealing Percoset
For your cramps
From the office

I know you give 'em to your boyfriend,
Who doesn't care about you that much.

I know you give it to your best friend
Who loves Percoset

The Dental Hygienist
Got pierced nipples

She's a bad girl
Who likes a good fucking

Dentists
don't got
best friends

Because they're busy
Always
Scrapping cavities

They know it
When it happens
Because it bleeds

And they tell you
to make sure
to brush six times a day

Alright alright alright!

You're never gonna get clean!

You're never gonna get clean gums!

I
Forgot
Money
no...

ooooooh. oooooooh.

Plastic
Rings and
Things that go on the tips of your pencils

They're useless
when you aint
got no teeth

I ate some
Birthday cake
for breakfast!

I smile
with the sprinkles
in my mouth!

and he took one look
and screamed
"What have you done!?"

It's all gonna rot!
It's all gonna rot!
It's all gonna rot!
Make sure you get your free sample of mouth wash!

It's all gonna rot!
Make sure you get your astronaut toothbrush!

It's all gonna rot!
What's your favorite color?
Is it green? Is it blue? Is it pink!? *laughter*

You're never gonna get clean!
Hey!

Open up! Open up!
*laughter*
Open wide!

Don't bite my finger!
Oh, Don't bite my finger it's in a plastic glove!
I'll touch you all over!

Let's take an x-ray.
Put this in your mouth,
And keep your head still.
Keep it as still as you can!

I'm gonna look at your insides!
Right!

Smile for the camera, Jimmy!
Smile for the camera!

Now keep that lead belt over your waist.
I'm gonna take a picture!

To tell you which tooth if fucked
And how much toothpaste you need.

Don't forget to take a plastic treat from the bin.
Because you've been good.
You've been goooooooooooood!

Your plastic vampire fangs
Or plastic ring
Or temporary tattoo
Maybe a pencil
Maybe a calculator watch

Something with sprinkles.
Maybe fake earrings.
Look at all the ones you got.

You've been so good for me
Smile real nice
And you opened your mouth real wide

I'm gonna tell your daddy you've been real good!

You've been brushing just like I told you you should!
AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH! Keep.
Keep it real clean.
I said keep it!
Keep it reeeeeeaaaaaaaaal clean.
Hey!Hey!

Come back next month!
For a check up.
And I'll see if you've been brushiiiiiiiiiiiing!

Come back next week!
And I'll tell your sister she needs her braces off!

And tell your daddy I said hi.
And tell him I need his money!
His money!

Before I see you again!
Before I see you agaaaaaain!

Make sure you take your plastic treat from the bin!
Because you've been real good.

I know it's hard to sit still like that long
While I touch your tongue.
With my finger.

You've been a good boy or girl.
So reward yourself,
With a Dora the Explorer
toothbrush.

Suck it!

Maybe a plastic green toy army soldier!
With a parachute that pulls!

Make sure you stay away from candy!

(background talking)