This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
I've got a new disease in me
I've got a friend that's losing sleep
I take it hard, it's hard to take
I'm wide-awake, I'm wide-awake
One more confession, discretion's not what I need to sell
I never needed a reason for keeping secrets from myself
and now, that's just how I tell I'm wide-awake
I'll wreck this if I have to
Tell me, what good would that do
I'll wreck this if I have to
You get separated, somebody's gone
and I don't know how this is wrong
I'm so frustrated, falling behind
You were a friend of mine
I'd be so good to you
Because they don't know you like I do
They don't know you like I do
They don't know you like I do
They don't know you like I do
There's a difference from me to them
And the road home is paved in star fuckers requiem
I could never go
Go back home again
Acadia is gone
All my indecision, all of my excess
don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best
I just need a minute, I just need a breath
It's very hard to drink to my continued success
And I will slow down,
It's better in the worst way
It's getting better in the worst way
So here's another day
I'll spend away from you
another night I'm on another broken avenue
Trading in who I've been for shiny celebrity skin
I like to push it and push it until my luck is over
I wonder what you're doing
I wonder if you doubt it
I wonder how we used to ever go so long without it
All that works to impress
Charming girls out of their dresses smiling pretty
I'm right beside you
What you want, what you need
I'll make this perfect again
If I burn out and slip away
You're beautiful, you are
I've been here so very long
And I can slip into you
It's so easy to come back into you
I'll hide it, can I hide in you a while?
I'm not sick of you yet
Is that as good as it gets
I never took you for a trick but sometimes, I don't know what you want
I could take it if you need to take this out on someone
If this is just a part i portray
I don't know how it got this way
I've got a friend that's losing sleep
I take it hard, it's hard to take
I'm wide-awake, I'm wide-awake
One more confession, discretion's not what I need to sell
I never needed a reason for keeping secrets from myself
and now, that's just how I tell I'm wide-awake
I'll wreck this if I have to
Tell me, what good would that do
I'll wreck this if I have to
You get separated, somebody's gone
and I don't know how this is wrong
I'm so frustrated, falling behind
You were a friend of mine
I'd be so good to you
Because they don't know you like I do
They don't know you like I do
They don't know you like I do
They don't know you like I do
There's a difference from me to them
And the road home is paved in star fuckers requiem
I could never go
Go back home again
Acadia is gone
All my indecision, all of my excess
don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best
I just need a minute, I just need a breath
It's very hard to drink to my continued success
And I will slow down,
It's better in the worst way
It's getting better in the worst way
So here's another day
I'll spend away from you
another night I'm on another broken avenue
Trading in who I've been for shiny celebrity skin
I like to push it and push it until my luck is over
I wonder what you're doing
I wonder if you doubt it
I wonder how we used to ever go so long without it
All that works to impress
Charming girls out of their dresses smiling pretty
I'm right beside you
What you want, what you need
I'll make this perfect again
If I burn out and slip away
You're beautiful, you are
I've been here so very long
And I can slip into you
It's so easy to come back into you
I'll hide it, can I hide in you a while?
I'm not sick of you yet
Is that as good as it gets
I never took you for a trick but sometimes, I don't know what you want
I could take it if you need to take this out on someone
If this is just a part i portray
I don't know how it got this way
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The Night We Met
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I think much like another song “Anti-Matter” (that's also on the same album as this song), this one is also is inspired by a horrifying van crash the band experienced on Nov 3, 2022. This, much like the other track, sounds like it's an extension what they shared while huddled in the wreckage, as they helped frontman Garrett Russell stem the bleeding from his head wound while he was under the temporary effects of a concussion. The track speaks of where the mind goes at the most desperate & desolate of times, when it just about slips away to all but disconnect itself, and the aftermath.
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Great version of a great song,
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This song is like the grand finale of the entire album. I love how it recaps the songs and restates the lines that have already been said, yet in a different way. I was pleasantly surprised. I was really excited to see "I never took you for a trick but sometimes I don't know what you want. I can take it if you need to take this out on someone" line from Say Anything making a cameo.
As for its meaning? I think it's just summing up the general theme of the band's music; loneliness, confusion, desperation, and want.