I went to the movies the other day with ah, I got this mate of mine lives in Alice Springs and he came down to visit. He’s an Aboriginal bloke. And um he’s got this pet goanna. He’s had it for about three years.

(how long)

Bout a week!
He keeps tellin’ me that, he keeps tellin’ me it’s the same one but I know for a fact he’s eatin’ the bastards!

And um, tried to take it to the movies they wouldn’t let him in. So he went out the front and he just stuffed it down his jeans.
In the movies he was sittin’ in there and a lady next to him said to her boyfriend, she said ah, she said ‘What’ll I do the bloke next to me got his prick out?’
The boyfriend said ‘Oh just ignore him, seen one you‘ve seen em all’
She said ‘But this ones eatin’ me popcorn!’

Were in this apartment building and um my brother lives in this apartment building there’s a bout twenty units I ‘spose and er. We heard this terrible noise outside and there’s two girls kickin’ the hell out of each other and havin’ a fight. And all the people in the apartment building are yellin’ out advice. There all pokin’ there heads out and yellin’ out stuff like, ‘GET HER DOWN, KICK HERE HEAD IN YEAH!’
‘STOMP ON HERE GUSTS HEY, YEAH, WOAH!’
‘QUICK KICK HER PURSE OVER HERE, WE’LL RIP HER OFF, YEAH!’
And there’s one old lady poked her head out and said ‘KICK HER TWAT IN!’
My brother opened the door and said ‘Yeah kick it in here!’

Ok heres a song trendsetters that ah. A song about a bloke who, had everything. Good looking guy..(like you)
Played a guitar..(like you)
Had a nice voice, in fact, this guy was superstar material. And before I do it mate you should go home and get your beauty sleep! Stay in bed a fucken month!

So here we go with a song bout a bloke who had everything, good lookin’ guy. You tell em scrotum you know the wrinkles, here we go! Superstar material!

This is the story of Johnny Blood
Fantastic voice, he was a superstar
Played the guitar, good lookin’ guy
But a roadie dropped an amplifier on his head and fucked him!

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!


Lyrics submitted by TheDirge

Mate Of Mine song meanings
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