"Ok, here's what we're doin' here, um-
We're going to integrate two very important things, um, and
Those are intelligence, and... sports!"


In hockey, you must score a goal
Which one cannot do if between me and the net there's no hole
Most goalies are quick; react the drop of a hat
But I don't need to be quick when I got so much fat

what do you do with your 1500 pounds?
You play goalie
What do you do with your 1500 pounds?
You play goalie


You can try the wrist shot, slap shot, there's no getting through
I told you ten times you can not fake out blubber, dude
I won't get tired 'cause I'll just lie on my side
So the other teams won't copy I'll be signed at the den

Turn to channel 29 on the tele'
I've limited the kick save and only block with my belly
Me and George Ozina, I'll be a new sensation--
The NHL can't not let me play,
'Cause that's discrimination!

what do you do with your 1500 pounds?
You play goalie
What do you do with your 1500 pounds?
You play goalie
(Can't stand it in England!)

Hey, man, do you know what's up?
The flyers could have used me in the Stanley Cup!
and I don't care if it ruins the sport of the game,
cause we're winning,
yeah, we're winning!

what do with your 1500 pounds?
you play goalie
what do with your 1500 pounds?
you play goalie
what do when you're 1500 pounds?
(and we danced, like a wave on the ocean, romanced,
you play goalie
(we were liars in love, and we danced)
what do when you're 1500 pounds?
(like a wave on the ocean, romanced,
you play goalie
(and we danced, and we danced, and we danced)
you play goalie
you play goalie
you play goalie, you
you play goalie
you play goalie


Lyrics submitted by robocoon

Goalie song meanings
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    Song MeaningAdam said at a live show that this was commentary based on the irony of McDonald's sponsoring the 1998 Winter Olympics.
    bananahammon March 21, 2013   Link

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