The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
Pages filled cover the floor all covered up with ink
Words written over coffee document my struggling
Those mornings spent sitting alone mourning alone in grief
For all I killed in search of honesty
See I used to be a mustard seed shouting at the mountain
I used to hang my head when it stayed far from the ocean
I used to claim its failure and from the depths of depression
I cried to god but god did not respond
Like a barrel chested strongman I suspended disbelief
I held it high over my head though all the weight was staggering
But legs buckled and muscles burned, in came gravity
I dropped it all, faced what I'd been avoiding
For many years I walked that road, for many years I tried
So earnestly I sought the relationship advertised
But my empty hands, my empty heart, could no longer be denied
Yeah I quit, I forfeit eternal life
I did not take inheritance when I left to go away
I did what was commanded when that rich man asked to be saved
I left my friends my family behind all for heaven's sake
I am no prodigal and this is no mistake
So I'm sorry mom I'm sorry dad, I really want you to be proud
Don't want to disappoint you all, don't want to let you down
But I have stopped searching for truth hiding behind heaven's cloud
Don't save my place, of this race I do bow out
Words written over coffee document my struggling
Those mornings spent sitting alone mourning alone in grief
For all I killed in search of honesty
See I used to be a mustard seed shouting at the mountain
I used to hang my head when it stayed far from the ocean
I used to claim its failure and from the depths of depression
I cried to god but god did not respond
Like a barrel chested strongman I suspended disbelief
I held it high over my head though all the weight was staggering
But legs buckled and muscles burned, in came gravity
I dropped it all, faced what I'd been avoiding
For many years I walked that road, for many years I tried
So earnestly I sought the relationship advertised
But my empty hands, my empty heart, could no longer be denied
Yeah I quit, I forfeit eternal life
I did not take inheritance when I left to go away
I did what was commanded when that rich man asked to be saved
I left my friends my family behind all for heaven's sake
I am no prodigal and this is no mistake
So I'm sorry mom I'm sorry dad, I really want you to be proud
Don't want to disappoint you all, don't want to let you down
But I have stopped searching for truth hiding behind heaven's cloud
Don't save my place, of this race I do bow out
Lyrics submitted by kvzuky
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losing one's faith is one of the most liberating experiences a person can go through.
wow. this song is so intensely personal. It's sad to me, hearing how Brett lost faith. It's probably a happy song for other people.
For me personally, I related this song to personal grief I was going through alone. I love the line "Those mornings spent sitting alone mourning alone in grief". Wow, they just nailed it.