I never thought the day would come when I
Would be the poison in the pen I use to write
You said you were alone in somewhat of a nervous tone
I guess it was the blank look on your face that was easy to replace

So then I went and drank myself into an idiot all through the night
Recounting all my paranoid and selfish thoughts but I was right

I made a space for you inside my soul
And let my feelings kill the part that I control
So part of you was me, neglectful maybe cold it seemed
Despite having the wounds we both imbibe, the scars are
somewhere we can't hide

I then stayed up for two more years just thinking of the sacrifice you made
Indifferent to the reason so apparent in the pain
I polished off another drink and taught myself to numb and drift away
For one more night so I could justify the day

So now I entertain the thought of going on all alone
But you are all the life I've ever known

I swear one day I'll get it back something that is already dead and gone
Again i see the trumpet player looking for his song
Don't worry I won't follow you, that part of me is learning to let got
What was a space is like a cancer in my soul


Lyrics submitted by nick5892

The Feel Good Song of the Year song meanings
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3 Comments

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  • +1
    General CommentI think this song might be about divorce.

    "We may not enjoy living together, but dying together isn't going to solve anything." - quote at the beginning.

    This starts making more sense around the second verse, and then the very end he's thinking "I'll remarry someday" even though his marriage is "something that is already dead and gone"
    Robolitiouson November 10, 2013   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthis guys dont stop!
    saocoreon February 05, 2009   Link
  • 0
    My InterpretationI agree with Robolitious that the song is probably about a divorce, especially because of the first line of the song.

    However, I have an alternate interpretation -- just something that hit me while I was listening to it -- a lot of the song could apply to the experience of losing a wife to a disease, like cancer. Again, I don't think that's what the song was written for, but it's interesting to explore other meanings.

    The first verse could represent bitterness of receiving potentially life-altering news.

    The second verse: paranoia that comes from worrying that she could be dying, and selfishly worrying about being left alone

    Third verse: This one is more of a stretch, but the first two lines basically mean "I fell hopelessly in love with you," then the third line, "part of you was me, neglectful maybe cold it seemed" could be interpreted as the part of her that was sick became the part of him that started withdrawing from the relationship because of fear and pain.

    "Despite having the wounds we both imbibe, the scars are somewhere we can't hide" - this could point to an alcohol problem for him, and cancer treatment for her... either the combination was damaging to the relationship, or this is the part of the song where she died.

    The next verse would be him grieving his loss for two years, using alcohol as a way to deal with his pain.

    "So now I entertain the thought of going on all alone
    But you are all the life I've ever known" - pretty self-explanatory

    "I swear one day I'll get it back something that is already dead and gone" - he could be talking about his happiness and zest for life

    "Again i see the trumpet player looking for his song" - this could represent depression... it's generally a trumpet that plays "taps" at a funeral

    "Don't worry I won't follow you, that part of me is learning to let go" - basically saying he isn't going to kill himself, because he's made a lot of progress dealing with the loss

    "What was a space is like a cancer in my soul" - she left an empty space when she died, and the space is compared to cancer of the soul - a clue that maybe cancer is what took her away.

    Anyway, I might be reaching with that interpretation, and it's clearly me hearing what I want to hear, because it does sound more like a bad divorce... but I guess it's also possible that it could be a strained relationship that might have been moving toward divorce, but the wife got sick and died.
    preppykevon January 15, 2015   Link

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