This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
a dirty deed is brewing
like ivy overgrowing
the scissors poised and ready
and she said that she was going
and a thousand years of waiting
they put it all in writing
she pricked her finger for it
but she's not cooperating
oh i swear by the river styx
thats where i am fixed
and i think the time is nearing
i think i might be thawing
if only i were certain
that my temperature weren't falling
and the tourists who've been coming
from my body sawing
pieces for exhibits
where impressive crowds are drawing
oh i swear by the river styx
thats where i am fixed
and if i had the patience and i had the money
and i had the humor and i had the offer
and the space and the time and the talent
and i had the power and i had the reason
and the virtue and i had the cunning
and i had the status and i had the wisdom
and i had the audience and the admission
and i had the method and i had the quiet
and i had the motive and the story
and i had the money and i had the time
then i just might try
if only i could prove it
if only i weren't stupid
if only i could torture
all the people who can do it
and through the final hour
i am destined to devour
the thousand hours of inspiration
slowly growing sour
and if i had an offer to be better
i'd decline
and if that were more awful to consider
i'd be fine
and if it were all my fault
that i'm bitter
and i've pined and i've regretted
that i aided and abetted
this end and if it isn't
i should probably forget it
and the contract's in the fire
i am starting to feel tired
i choke that i'm forgiven
but i've always been a liar
and i had an offer to better
i'd decline
and if that were more awful to consider
i'd be fine
and if it were all my fault
that i'm bitter
like ivy overgrowing
the scissors poised and ready
and she said that she was going
and a thousand years of waiting
they put it all in writing
she pricked her finger for it
but she's not cooperating
oh i swear by the river styx
thats where i am fixed
and i think the time is nearing
i think i might be thawing
if only i were certain
that my temperature weren't falling
and the tourists who've been coming
from my body sawing
pieces for exhibits
where impressive crowds are drawing
oh i swear by the river styx
thats where i am fixed
and if i had the patience and i had the money
and i had the humor and i had the offer
and the space and the time and the talent
and i had the power and i had the reason
and the virtue and i had the cunning
and i had the status and i had the wisdom
and i had the audience and the admission
and i had the method and i had the quiet
and i had the motive and the story
and i had the money and i had the time
then i just might try
if only i could prove it
if only i weren't stupid
if only i could torture
all the people who can do it
and through the final hour
i am destined to devour
the thousand hours of inspiration
slowly growing sour
and if i had an offer to be better
i'd decline
and if that were more awful to consider
i'd be fine
and if it were all my fault
that i'm bitter
and i've pined and i've regretted
that i aided and abetted
this end and if it isn't
i should probably forget it
and the contract's in the fire
i am starting to feel tired
i choke that i'm forgiven
but i've always been a liar
and i had an offer to better
i'd decline
and if that were more awful to consider
i'd be fine
and if it were all my fault
that i'm bitter
Lyrics submitted by iggy1110
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