This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
yeah,
i turned 21 in prison, locked up at night
now i walk around free, seems like another life
another roll, with some other dice
another hoe or a loving wife
people come and go, some really you never know
intellectual midgets, that really never grow
fake love that hangs on like, can i hold you though
and all the friends that look at you
like yo, yeah i told you so
a toast to the broken hearted
who never finished what they fuck'n started
people who go out and try and be a rebel at night
to try and make up for the fact that they settled in life
it's like a fight between the devil and christ, over the limelight
spiritual celebrity poker, but the whole deck is full of jokers
and every year that you get older
the stakes get higher, gambling with a bunch of fakes and liars
real talk, cause the real new york
is the pain and the suffering of lost love
staring off into the distance in the mist of the club
depression and emptiness that leads to suicide
and the struggle inside of yourself that keeps you alive
surviving Medicaid and starched by sobriety
the life you live now, tortured by memories violently
i pray inside of me that one day you can be forgiven
for murdering the beautiful world we used to live in
yeah,
love doesn't need a complicated metaphor
and sometimes nothing needs to be said at all
sometimes the person you're with is not your one and only
and you just fuck with them cause your afraid to be lonely
and when you come back it's too late, so you overcompensate
like victims of rape, full of self hate
lost to the affection of strangers around you
instead of the only person that ever gave a fuck about you
thought you were happy so you didn't come check me
but then when he cheated on you, treated you incorrectly
you conveniently realized you could never forget me
and tried to crawl back in my life, unexpectedly
these are my indictments of those who claim to be righteous
and leave a trail of broken hearts on their way to enlightenment
but i can't give into hatred or past judgments
even towards every illusion i've been in love with
cause the heart that betrays itself willingly
is like the nation that trades freedom for stability
it's so seductive, to be cold and corrupted
and isolated trying to be an independent republic
but liberty to be loved on the surface is worthless
the sacrifice of revolution with no purpose
take it from a criminal searching for his redemption
cursing a god desperately trying to get his attention
i turned 21 in prison, locked up at night
now i walk around free, seems like another life
another roll, with some other dice
another hoe or a loving wife
people come and go, some really you never know
intellectual midgets, that really never grow
fake love that hangs on like, can i hold you though
and all the friends that look at you
like yo, yeah i told you so
a toast to the broken hearted
who never finished what they fuck'n started
people who go out and try and be a rebel at night
to try and make up for the fact that they settled in life
it's like a fight between the devil and christ, over the limelight
spiritual celebrity poker, but the whole deck is full of jokers
and every year that you get older
the stakes get higher, gambling with a bunch of fakes and liars
real talk, cause the real new york
is the pain and the suffering of lost love
staring off into the distance in the mist of the club
depression and emptiness that leads to suicide
and the struggle inside of yourself that keeps you alive
surviving Medicaid and starched by sobriety
the life you live now, tortured by memories violently
i pray inside of me that one day you can be forgiven
for murdering the beautiful world we used to live in
yeah,
love doesn't need a complicated metaphor
and sometimes nothing needs to be said at all
sometimes the person you're with is not your one and only
and you just fuck with them cause your afraid to be lonely
and when you come back it's too late, so you overcompensate
like victims of rape, full of self hate
lost to the affection of strangers around you
instead of the only person that ever gave a fuck about you
thought you were happy so you didn't come check me
but then when he cheated on you, treated you incorrectly
you conveniently realized you could never forget me
and tried to crawl back in my life, unexpectedly
these are my indictments of those who claim to be righteous
and leave a trail of broken hearts on their way to enlightenment
but i can't give into hatred or past judgments
even towards every illusion i've been in love with
cause the heart that betrays itself willingly
is like the nation that trades freedom for stability
it's so seductive, to be cold and corrupted
and isolated trying to be an independent republic
but liberty to be loved on the surface is worthless
the sacrifice of revolution with no purpose
take it from a criminal searching for his redemption
cursing a god desperately trying to get his attention
Lyrics submitted by egomaniak
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