This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
I've waited a long time for this life
Just to ruin it, so please don't ruin this for me
Yes to understand this lie
Hell I crossed those t's
I scratched out all these eyes, myself last night
What I promise not to find
So this is what I'm looking like these days
I'm all grown up, so full of hate
But I don't wanna let go of my age
'Cause it's the salt, that brings the taste
So where am I to decide that I'm not right?
'Cause I might break and I might bend
Your heart strings out of tune again
And I might try to apologize
One a good day
On my best day
If you stick around
Did I stay inside to sterilize this knife?
Am I being to careful?
Does this seem right?
Did I open up the shades to expose these sunny rays?
To show what burned this sight
Take a close look
Hold me right up to the light
'Cause I might break and I might bend
Your heart strings out of tune again
And I might try to apologize
One a good day
On my best day
If you stick around
I've waited for so long
(I've waited for so long)
Spread me out, rake me in
This scorched and rocky field
Will camouflage my skin
And I might break and I might bend
Your heart strings out of tune again
And I might try to apologize
One a good day
On my best day
If you stick around [2x]
Just to ruin it, so please don't ruin this for me
Yes to understand this lie
Hell I crossed those t's
I scratched out all these eyes, myself last night
What I promise not to find
So this is what I'm looking like these days
I'm all grown up, so full of hate
But I don't wanna let go of my age
'Cause it's the salt, that brings the taste
So where am I to decide that I'm not right?
'Cause I might break and I might bend
Your heart strings out of tune again
And I might try to apologize
One a good day
On my best day
If you stick around
Did I stay inside to sterilize this knife?
Am I being to careful?
Does this seem right?
Did I open up the shades to expose these sunny rays?
To show what burned this sight
Take a close look
Hold me right up to the light
'Cause I might break and I might bend
Your heart strings out of tune again
And I might try to apologize
One a good day
On my best day
If you stick around
I've waited for so long
(I've waited for so long)
Spread me out, rake me in
This scorched and rocky field
Will camouflage my skin
And I might break and I might bend
Your heart strings out of tune again
And I might try to apologize
One a good day
On my best day
If you stick around [2x]
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