Oh Dearest Daughter

It all starts in a fast-food joint of Biblical proportion,
In a small toilet that makes love some kind of astounding contortion,
Although it isn't noisy
Oh the love it speaks volumes,
Kebabs and burgers a million miles away
Just four foot from the bathroom,
She's beautiful and radiant
There's two of her she's blurry,
He's nameless knight-in-shining-armour he said he's working early,
He said he'd walk her to the bus stop
Said she'd catch the N11
He said that the ladder in her tights was a stairway to heaven,
She threw up in the car park, oh her head it is a-pounding,
He held her hair from her face joked "shall I get another round in?"
She won't remember that he said that - won't remember much in the morning,
She'll be pregnant and nine months away from the hospital her daughter will be born in,

And she'll cry her little heart out
She'll curse the vodka lemonade conception,
She'll curse fast-food joints and alcohol
Her life and his erection
And she'll mutter hatred and regret directed at her newborn
She'll hate herself for not deciding to go with an abortion

She comfort-buys a pram a pop star had in the newspaper
She takes a photo of her daughter on her phone as the wallpaper,
And she names her after the supermodel who looked best this season
She plans out her christening, the priest asks why she has no reason,
Because she does not care for the God she heard about in conversation
There's no guardian angel leaving her signs in the time board at the train station
Her purpose for existence isn't etched into the tree outside her house
So her guardian angel doesn't do their job and should have been fired by now
Her daughter is angelic and nauseating at the same time
She personifies her big mistake and breaks her heart with a smile

Reluctant grandma says it's time for a break a night out with the girls
So it's hair straighteners and gloss and make-up squeezing into that short skirt

It's music lights and dancing,
Fake IDs, queues at the bar,
Rums and cokes, laughing fit blokes, and twenties from her bra
When her stare finds a familiar stranger, playing pool, potting a red
She knows that face those eyes but she can't remember from where

He walks over London Pride in hand gives her a grin a wink,
He drops her a cheesy "Don't I know you?" line and she's still trying to think,
She figures it out, she wants to die,
The room blacks out it's 10:07
The remnants of a "Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?"
10:08 and all the time she's lost because of the boy sitting next to her,
She reaches for her purse to take out the photo of her daughter,
He ponders, thinks, says: "Hey she's cute,
What is she, your sister?
You're cute, too" and he's away leaning in to kiss her,
10:09
"No, stop it! Can't you fucking remember
The drunk girl you slurred I love you to in West Kebab last December,
Like it or not you're this girl's dad,
This girl she's your daughter,
Get your hand off my shoulder
I need a glass of water"

And the parents of a young Londoner sit and have nothing to say,
Welcome to the world, would be a start.
We're ready to bring you up the right way...