This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
You and I meet
On the shores of the broken
You swallow the ocean
I Swallow my pride
Only to see
The way that I need you
Is more than I knew
I ever could
In between the ashes and the flames
Is a cry an awkward silence
Could never contain
And the falling of my hammers
And the writhing of my pain
Is just not as real as the way
That your calling my name
I cant help thinking
That the way that you want me
And the ghost that haunts me
Are one and the same
Cause you stand at my window
At night wile I'm sleeping
There's not a promise I'm keeping
That could ever repay you
In between the ashes and the flames
There's a song that burns brighter
Than Radio waves
Bout the remnants of my Idols
And the shadow of my shame
About how they scatter like the rain and I can't stop crying
Cause you wont stop calling my name
Calling my name up from the ashes
On the shores of the broken
You swallow the ocean
I Swallow my pride
Only to see
The way that I need you
Is more than I knew
I ever could
In between the ashes and the flames
Is a cry an awkward silence
Could never contain
And the falling of my hammers
And the writhing of my pain
Is just not as real as the way
That your calling my name
I cant help thinking
That the way that you want me
And the ghost that haunts me
Are one and the same
Cause you stand at my window
At night wile I'm sleeping
There's not a promise I'm keeping
That could ever repay you
In between the ashes and the flames
There's a song that burns brighter
Than Radio waves
Bout the remnants of my Idols
And the shadow of my shame
About how they scatter like the rain and I can't stop crying
Cause you wont stop calling my name
Calling my name up from the ashes
Lyrics submitted by CoreTaKnee
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This song in my life... held me up in my darkest hours. I can't listen to the song without crying, so I usually try to not listen to it outside of my bedroom. I used to struggle with pornography and masturbation, and I was a very broken person on the inside, because i was living two lives. The one on the outside, where people saw a girl going full hearted after God, and the one behind closed doors that was bound by sin, and hopelessness. This song was God singing to my heart at that time. For an entire year wherever I turned He was telling me it wasn't over, and that this was not a funeral precession for the calling He has on my life. Everywhere I turned He'd say the same thing in different ways: "Pheonix from the ashes", "Up from the ashes", "Rise out of ashes". I'd fall asleep, die in my dreams, and get raised from the dead by God's voice.
That being said, if you're reading this right now, let me tell you something: God saved me. He set me completely free from pornography and masturbation in a single heartbeat, and it was by NO strength WHATSOEVER of my own. It was ALL by His grace. I may be a pheonix, but the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is my fire and my wings. You can run all you like from God, but you will NEVER be able to get rid of His voice calling your name. Never. believe me, because I know from experience. He is more REAL, His voice is more REAL, than any self inflicted, or non-self inflicted sin, pain, or brokenness in your life. And if you let Him, than He will set you free in this very moment, wherever you are - He will call you up from your ashes. You want to be free? Than you cry out to God right now like you've never cried out before in your life. He is faithful and just to forgive you, and to purge you from ALL your sin, and your unrighteousness... And He's calling you.