I think much like another song “Anti-Matter” (that's also on the same album as this song), this one is also is inspired by a horrifying van crash the band experienced on Nov 3, 2022. This, much like the other track, sounds like it's an extension what they shared while huddled in the wreckage, as they helped frontman Garrett Russell stem the bleeding from his head wound while he was under the temporary effects of a concussion. The track speaks of where the mind goes at the most desperate & desolate of times, when it just about slips away to all but disconnect itself, and the aftermath.
If you grew up with white boys
Who only look at black and Puerto Rican porno
Cause they want something that their dad don't got
Then you know where you're at
Mortaring your earholes shut in a rush with wet coke
In a Starbucks bathroom with the door closed
On booze, I'm left in residue and confused
Like the first time you used soft water
Down on my luck, caught unaware
Like Houdini when the last fist struck
If I'm sinking in, laughing at something sunken in, I am.
Sucking dick for drink tickets
At the free bar at my cousin's bat mitzvah
Cutting the punch line and it ain't no joke
Devoid of all hope, circus mirrors and pot smoke
Picking fights on dyke night
With shirlies and lokes and snatching purses
Doing Elton on karaoke and forgetting all the verses
Blowing kisses to disinterested bitches
Playing lead lay in a bad way on Broadway
Sending sexy SMS's to my exes new man cause i can
On the road trying to break an old van
Eating pussy for new fangs, I am, what the hell
Using Purell till my hands bleed and swell
Missing Mel at a Motel 6, I'm unwell, if
If I'm sinking in, laughing at something sunken in, I am.
It feels exciting, touching your handwriting
Getting horny by reading it and repeating poor me
Intently staring at the picture of your feet on the sticker
At the R. Crumb exhibit, I wonder who's sicker
Jerking off in an art museum john till my dick hurts
The kind of shit I won't admit to my head shrinker
Not even in a whisper to my own little sister
I just act like a dick and talk shit when I'm with her
Aught six, I'll say the Friday before Easter
Was not good, I cried to myself in the pisser
And with you in the front row at the Silver Jews show
And you act like you didn't notice, my fear of the bear
At Showbiz Pizza when I saw six was overwhelming and not dissimilar to this
If I'm sinking in, laughing at something sunken in, I am.
At Jacob Han's on tour I wake up
Hung over on a hardwood floor
From a dream about how your dress
Hangs off of your little breasts
I'd rather be dead than call this song
"How I lost your respect" but god bless or get neglected
And I'll see you when the sun sets east, don't forget me
Who only look at black and Puerto Rican porno
Cause they want something that their dad don't got
Then you know where you're at
Mortaring your earholes shut in a rush with wet coke
In a Starbucks bathroom with the door closed
On booze, I'm left in residue and confused
Like the first time you used soft water
Down on my luck, caught unaware
Like Houdini when the last fist struck
If I'm sinking in, laughing at something sunken in, I am.
Sucking dick for drink tickets
At the free bar at my cousin's bat mitzvah
Cutting the punch line and it ain't no joke
Devoid of all hope, circus mirrors and pot smoke
Picking fights on dyke night
With shirlies and lokes and snatching purses
Doing Elton on karaoke and forgetting all the verses
Blowing kisses to disinterested bitches
Playing lead lay in a bad way on Broadway
Sending sexy SMS's to my exes new man cause i can
On the road trying to break an old van
Eating pussy for new fangs, I am, what the hell
Using Purell till my hands bleed and swell
Missing Mel at a Motel 6, I'm unwell, if
If I'm sinking in, laughing at something sunken in, I am.
It feels exciting, touching your handwriting
Getting horny by reading it and repeating poor me
Intently staring at the picture of your feet on the sticker
At the R. Crumb exhibit, I wonder who's sicker
Jerking off in an art museum john till my dick hurts
The kind of shit I won't admit to my head shrinker
Not even in a whisper to my own little sister
I just act like a dick and talk shit when I'm with her
Aught six, I'll say the Friday before Easter
Was not good, I cried to myself in the pisser
And with you in the front row at the Silver Jews show
And you act like you didn't notice, my fear of the bear
At Showbiz Pizza when I saw six was overwhelming and not dissimilar to this
If I'm sinking in, laughing at something sunken in, I am.
At Jacob Han's on tour I wake up
Hung over on a hardwood floor
From a dream about how your dress
Hangs off of your little breasts
I'd rather be dead than call this song
"How I lost your respect" but god bless or get neglected
And I'll see you when the sun sets east, don't forget me
Lyrics submitted by oh ok, edited by Mellow_Harsher, absynthewillow, johnsinger
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Oh! I just got that! Cutting the punch line and it ain't no joke! He means a literal line for the punch bowl, but he's cutting the "punchline".
Piss.
"down on my luck, caught unaware like houdini when the last fist struck" What a line. This song is so vivid.
It's like a weird cultural divide...those kids who grew up going to Showbiz and those who only know it as Chuck E Cheese. Anyway, this song destroys me in the worst way. The sick, horrifying existence of memory on all of the best things that are now completely untouchable.
the only kind of a 'lovesong' i could ever digest
Yup.
Right before I listened to this song today, I read that one of the final signs of the Last Judgement in Islam is the sun rising in the West (and presumably setting in the East?). After this sign of the End Times occurs, repentance for one's sins is not accepted. I doubt it has anything to do with the song, but I thought it was a pretty interesting aside, so I thought I'd share.
I heard that too and asked a muslim friend of mine about it and she said that when the sun sets in the east "it will be the beginning of the end of the world" and I think it makes sense in the context of the song, kind of like, I'll see you at the end of time, knowing that after everything, we're all human and that even when you think you've lost someone we're all going to die someday and it might be then that we reunite?
only a couple i made:
if i'm sinking in, [this is how it sounds to me at least] laughing at something sunken in, i am ... at the r. crumb [crumb is a fairly famous comic artist] exhibit, i wonder who's sicker ... ought six[as in '06, as in 2006], i'll say the friday before easter ... [im not sure exactly how this section actually goes but i took a stab at it] and you act like you didn't notice (my fear of the bear[?] at [someone's?]) pizza when i was six was overwhelming and not dissimilar to this
this song is so beautiful seriously
thanks man, all made sense
and after a little searching "fear of the bear at showbiz pizza" makes sense
rock_afire.tripod.com/sppcollect/dolls/1981_billy.jpg
i mean look at it
it's "Singing elton on karaoke and forgetting all the verses" isn't it?
Some more possible corrections:
"Eating pussy for new fans"
"Missing Mel at a Motel 6."