Welcome, one and all, to the amazing Dr. Pibb's
He'll make a penis from a buttock and a woman from a rib
And if you've lost your follicles and wish that you were dead
He'll take hairs from your testicles and sew them on your head

Welcome, one and all, to the astounding Dr. Pibb's
He'll convince you that you need to change, he's really rather glib
He'll nip and tuck and fold and turn you into someone else,
But rest assured the Doctor's had no surgery himself

He turns your fingers into toes
How he does it, no one knows
Just close your eyes and strike a pose
While Dr. Pibb works on your nose...

Welcome, one and all, to the impressive Dr. Pibb's
He'll reach inside his leather bag, it's always full of tricks
He'll give you a tummy tuck so all the boys will want to fuck
And he'll give you an anal bleach, so all the boys will want your peach...

Welcome, one and all, to the breathtaking Dr. Pibb's
He disarms you with a smile as he fills your head with fibs
You'll have to take off all your clothes so he can touch your breasts
He'll carve away a pound of flesh so you can look your best

He'll offer you a pinch of hope
He'll turn your body fat to soap
Just close your eyes and strike a pose
While Dr. Pibb takes off your clothes...

Beware, my son, the crooked surgeon
He'll cut you like a piece of sturgeon
He'll turn you back into a virgin,
You'll wonder what he's really purging...

He'll pummel 'til you're black and blue
He'll turn your thighs to yellow goo
He'll leave you with a scar or 'two'
You won't be able to talk or chew...

A burn victim turned up today
But she could not afford to pay
Yet Dr. Pibb, he would not sway
So Dr. Pibb turned her away...

Lyrics submitted by The_Passenger

Dr. Pibb song meanings
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    General CommentI think it's about time that someone wrote an anti-plastic surgery song. To my mind it's the only one. Strange seeing as it's a serious topic and so relevant today! To me this song says - don't do it!!
    The_Passengeron December 12, 2007   Link

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