The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
Will somebody answer the fucking phone? Good Lord.
Hello?
Hey Justin.
My name isn't Justin.
Hey. It's Aaron.
That's great.
I can't come out tonight.
What?
I'm going to see this girl.
But I thought we were gonna have an orgy.
No. No. Her name is Candy.
I don't care what her name is.
She's real cute. I gotta go. See ya.
What? Oh, hell no.
I know a girl who's tough but sweet. (More like sour.)
She's so fine she can't be beat.
(I'll fucking beat her.)
She's got everything that I
desire.
(Yeah, well she's missing
a few inches.)
Set the summer sun on fire.
(I'll light her on fire.)
I want Candy.
(Ew.)
I want Candy.
(I didn't know you liked the taco.)
I want Candy.
(Are you sure it's not Randy?)
I want Candy.
(I'll kill that bitch.)
Go to see her when the sun goes
down.
(You always told me you were
going to the bathroom.)
Ain't no finer girl in town.
(‘Cause she's a slut.)
You're my girl, what the doctor
ordered.
(I didn't know you could
have a skank as a prescription.)
So sweet she makes my mouth water.
(‘Cause my cock was in your mouth
last night.)
I want Candy.
(Yeah, candy penis.)
I want Candy.
(You're gonna smell like fish.)
I want Candy.
(Bitch, you're not Willy Wonka.)
I want Candy.
(She's just a loose-pussied ho.)
Hey. (What?)
Hey. (What?!)
Hey. (Why do you keep saying hey?)
Hey. (Stop it.)
Hey. (What is this hey?)
Hey. (Stop it.)
Hey. (I will kill you. Shut up.)
Hey.
Candy on the beach, there's nothing
better.
(Oh, gag me with a spoon.)
But I like Candy when it's wrapped
in a sweater.
(Well, isn't that kinky?)
Someday soon I'll make you mine. (You're a
cockeye, I don't want you.)
Then I'll have Candy all the time.
(You'll have the smell of fish all
the time.)
I want Candy.
(It's not even Halloween.)
I want Candy.
(She's not even a real girl.)
I want Candy.
(Great. Let's go to
WalMart and get some.)
I want Candy.
(Oh, God, we get the point.)
Candy in the morning time. (Ew.)
Candy in the hot sunshine. (Ew.)
Candy, baby, can't you see? (No.)
All I want is your Candy! (Gross.)
Candy in the morning time. (Ew.)
Candy in the hot sunshine. (Ew.)
Candy, baby, can't you see? (No.)
All I want is your Candy!
Hey. (Oh, not again.)
Hey. (Shut up.)
Hey.
All I want is your Candy!
Hey. (Shut up.)
Hey. (I will kill you. I will kill you...)
Hey. (...with my eyeliner.)
Hey. All I want is your Candy!
I'll kill that bitch, too
Hello?
Hey Justin.
My name isn't Justin.
Hey. It's Aaron.
That's great.
I can't come out tonight.
What?
I'm going to see this girl.
But I thought we were gonna have an orgy.
No. No. Her name is Candy.
I don't care what her name is.
She's real cute. I gotta go. See ya.
What? Oh, hell no.
I know a girl who's tough but sweet. (More like sour.)
She's so fine she can't be beat.
(I'll fucking beat her.)
She's got everything that I
desire.
(Yeah, well she's missing
a few inches.)
Set the summer sun on fire.
(I'll light her on fire.)
I want Candy.
(Ew.)
I want Candy.
(I didn't know you liked the taco.)
I want Candy.
(Are you sure it's not Randy?)
I want Candy.
(I'll kill that bitch.)
Go to see her when the sun goes
down.
(You always told me you were
going to the bathroom.)
Ain't no finer girl in town.
(‘Cause she's a slut.)
You're my girl, what the doctor
ordered.
(I didn't know you could
have a skank as a prescription.)
So sweet she makes my mouth water.
(‘Cause my cock was in your mouth
last night.)
I want Candy.
(Yeah, candy penis.)
I want Candy.
(You're gonna smell like fish.)
I want Candy.
(Bitch, you're not Willy Wonka.)
I want Candy.
(She's just a loose-pussied ho.)
Hey. (What?)
Hey. (What?!)
Hey. (Why do you keep saying hey?)
Hey. (Stop it.)
Hey. (What is this hey?)
Hey. (Stop it.)
Hey. (I will kill you. Shut up.)
Hey.
Candy on the beach, there's nothing
better.
(Oh, gag me with a spoon.)
But I like Candy when it's wrapped
in a sweater.
(Well, isn't that kinky?)
Someday soon I'll make you mine. (You're a
cockeye, I don't want you.)
Then I'll have Candy all the time.
(You'll have the smell of fish all
the time.)
I want Candy.
(It's not even Halloween.)
I want Candy.
(She's not even a real girl.)
I want Candy.
(Great. Let's go to
WalMart and get some.)
I want Candy.
(Oh, God, we get the point.)
Candy in the morning time. (Ew.)
Candy in the hot sunshine. (Ew.)
Candy, baby, can't you see? (No.)
All I want is your Candy! (Gross.)
Candy in the morning time. (Ew.)
Candy in the hot sunshine. (Ew.)
Candy, baby, can't you see? (No.)
All I want is your Candy!
Hey. (Oh, not again.)
Hey. (Shut up.)
Hey.
All I want is your Candy!
Hey. (Shut up.)
Hey. (I will kill you. I will kill you...)
Hey. (...with my eyeliner.)
Hey. All I want is your Candy!
I'll kill that bitch, too
Lyrics submitted by thrwmyhrtawy.
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i love this song, its amazing, yeah, so much better than the original
hahaha this is so funny!
only 2 comments DAMN this is a funny song i love it
funniest shit i've ever heard