The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
MC PLEASE AND THANK YOU: This could be true
MISSY CRISTAL: Uhh, thas right!
MC PLEASE AND THANK YOU: Really?
MISSY CRISTAL: Uhh!
MC PLEASE AND THANK YOU: Say it twice
MISSY CRISTAL (MC PLEASE AND THANK YOU):
Got me on the mic, my name is Missy Cristal (Cristal...)
If you fuck with me, I'll shoot you with my pistol (Excuse me?)
But if you treat me good baby, rub up on that juicy cunt (Oh my goodness)
Suckin' on my titties while you slide your cock in my butt (I just might)
Ooh baby, I'll take good care of you
Keep your dick hard while we rub it down with anal lube (Lube)
Ask me who my pimp is, yeah sucka, it's Geppetto (What?!)
That crazy fuck smells of Platinum Chanel (That's right!)
I keep him in business, 'cause sex sells (It sure does)
And I also fucked Pinnochio
Pinnochio took his nose in my stinkbox while he licked my butthole (Did she just say stinkbox?)
Make sure to keep switchin' it up and flippin' it up
My legs are open to suggestion, I'll keep you guessin' (I don't understand that joke)
But seeing me loving is a blessin'
I see you look at me, standing on the street corner
Then you slow your car like a tourist or a foreigner
I lean in the window, you aks me if I need a ride
Before I know it, we're cruisin' down the south side
THE JUDGE:
I'll take you home
You'll clean my house, do my dishes
Got you on your knees and you'll grant me three wishes (Wishes)
CRISTAL:
'Cause you got me out the bottle like Christina Aguilera
Into the backseat of your color Sierra
Ooh, you got me hot daddy, now I'm seein' red
THE JUDGE:
I'm sucking on your earlobes
While you're playing on my dick head
CRISTAL:
And I'm so wet
Feeling like a slip-n-slide
THE JUDGE:
And you're taking it all
Eight, nine, ten inches inside
CRISTAL:
And I'm sloppy, papi, like whoo!
'Cause I just fucked your cousin twenty minutes ago
THE JUDGE:
Down to business, I feel my dick explode
I aksed you for a cigarette
CRISTAL:
I say a got a camel toe (Camel whaat?!)
THE JUDGE:
There's only two things that I want
And that's pussy and head (And money!)
So call up your sister 'cause I got a king-sized bed (Honey!)
That's plenty of room for the fuckin'
So soak up that flavor
CRISTAL:
I keep this pussy smooth with a triple-blade razor
THE JUDGE:
Now I'm fucking your sister
'Cause you're taking a nap
CRISTAL:
I was tired from the workout you were giving my ass
THE JUDGE:
I got her hair in my hands and I'm about to get off.
THE JUDGE: Hello?
HARLIQUIN: Can I come in for a minute?
THE JUDGE: Yes. Yes you can, bitch.
THE JUDGE:
Now we're fucking the freak neighbor
'Cause she's mad at her husband
CRISTAL:
I got her eating out my pussy 'cause she's hungry for muffin
THE JUDGE:
Half an hour later, and everyone's nuttin'
It was a filth nasty sandwich, but she ate it all up
Licked clean my cock, then we smoked a fat rock
Ecstasy pills and we're at it again (What's going on here?)
There's only two things I want and that's you and your friends
MC PLEASE AND THANK YOU:
You mean my best friend?
Or that one girl I met on the street?
Could've been one or either or both.
I'm not really sure.
I think it's time I--for me to go home.
Lyrics submitted by jjjonatron
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