Both as a standalone and as part of the DSOTS album, you can take this lyric as read. As a matter of public record, Jourgensen's drug intake was legendary even in the 1980s. By the late 90s, in his own words, he was grappling with massive addiction issues and had lost almost everything: friends, spouse, money and had nearly died more than once. "Dark Side of the Spoon" is a both funny & sad title for an album made by a musical genius who was losing the plot; and this song is a message to his fans & friends saying he knows it. It's painful to listen to so I'm glad the "Keith Richards of industrial metals" wised up and cleaned up. Well done sir.
And I can't become my father
When it's all been said and done
His completions won't complete me
I've divided me by one
I'm the answer to his riddle
I'm the caution of his wind
I'm the spoon wedged between tongue and teeth
Beneath his trembling grin
And I dare add my revision
For I dare not suffer twice
And I dare not reinvent the past
And I dare not be the Christ
And I welcome any sufferer
And I welcome any Saul
Sitting in this room, on wooden bench
Waiting for Joi to call
And I suffer here alone, Lord
Perturbed by my every thought
How I've tried to strip them to the bone
I've struggled and I've fought
Every jealous warped intention
Smuggled, sewn into genes
Every hidden mongrel tendency
Exploiting me in me
Each time I put them under
But still they wanna test me
I cry out through the thunder
You storm right past me
I search and I ponder
I question and wonder
I roar and I thunder
Please let me in
I've been waiting here
For what now seems the better of an hour
I've raised every crippled question
From the dead and given power
To the absence of my sanity
The presence of a fear
That lies in between forgotten dreams
That pile up every year
Up above the highest testaments
Down below the wooden floor
There's a gutted room, pitch black at noon
Beneath a hidden door
Deep within you'll find
The attributes of every sunken man
Who must bang his head against the dead
Each day he tries to stand
And he's standing pressed against
The very woman that he loves
Kissing eyes and lips, embracing hips
Surrendering to her touch
And just at the very moment
That he touches heart to heart
She pulls from his touch
'Cause it's too much to mend what's torn apart
Each time I put them under
But still they wanna test me
I cry out through the thunder
You storm right past me
I search and I ponder
I question and wonder
I roar and I thunder
Please let me in
It's so hard to be the man I would be
If hatred and fear no longer appeared
I swear I've become the skin of a drum
The heart of a man, divided I stand
When it's all been said and done
His completions won't complete me
I've divided me by one
I'm the answer to his riddle
I'm the caution of his wind
I'm the spoon wedged between tongue and teeth
Beneath his trembling grin
And I dare add my revision
For I dare not suffer twice
And I dare not reinvent the past
And I dare not be the Christ
And I welcome any sufferer
And I welcome any Saul
Sitting in this room, on wooden bench
Waiting for Joi to call
And I suffer here alone, Lord
Perturbed by my every thought
How I've tried to strip them to the bone
I've struggled and I've fought
Every jealous warped intention
Smuggled, sewn into genes
Every hidden mongrel tendency
Exploiting me in me
Each time I put them under
But still they wanna test me
I cry out through the thunder
You storm right past me
I search and I ponder
I question and wonder
I roar and I thunder
Please let me in
I've been waiting here
For what now seems the better of an hour
I've raised every crippled question
From the dead and given power
To the absence of my sanity
The presence of a fear
That lies in between forgotten dreams
That pile up every year
Up above the highest testaments
Down below the wooden floor
There's a gutted room, pitch black at noon
Beneath a hidden door
Deep within you'll find
The attributes of every sunken man
Who must bang his head against the dead
Each day he tries to stand
And he's standing pressed against
The very woman that he loves
Kissing eyes and lips, embracing hips
Surrendering to her touch
And just at the very moment
That he touches heart to heart
She pulls from his touch
'Cause it's too much to mend what's torn apart
Each time I put them under
But still they wanna test me
I cry out through the thunder
You storm right past me
I search and I ponder
I question and wonder
I roar and I thunder
Please let me in
It's so hard to be the man I would be
If hatred and fear no longer appeared
I swear I've become the skin of a drum
The heart of a man, divided I stand
Lyrics submitted by nova hands
Skin of a Drum Lyrics as written by Trent Reznor Saul Williams
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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There is still an amazing amount of hope and will in the lyrics; and the lyrics themselve rank and easy five. If only music was stronger it would be one of those great radio songs that you hear once a week 20 years after it was released. The imagery is almost tear-jerking ("City lights lay out before us", "Speeds so fast felt like I was drunk"), and the idea of starting from nothing and just driving and working and denigrating yourself for a chance at being just above poverty, then losing in the end is just painful and inspiring at the same time.
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I think your first comment is closer to being accurate. The singer/song writers state "Millions of eyes can see, yet why am i so blind!? When the someone else is me, its unkind its unkind". I believe hes referring to the girl toying with him and using him. He wants something deeper with her, thats why he allows himself to be as a puppet (even though for her fun and games) as long as it makes her happy. But he knows deep down that she doesnt really want to be serious with him and thats what makes him.
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Sounds to me like a man whose been beaten down but still determined to stand up and be his own man. Probably my second favorite song on the album after Black History Month!
This track was one of the original 14 and by the time I got home from Australia it had really grown on me. I think its the second song I recorded with Trents music. I didn't realize until later that Trent and Alan both seemed emotionally attached to the music as something they had labored over for a long time and never found a home for. I should have known because the track had a title (march) although it had no lyrics. When I emailed Trent my home recording he quickly responded that he got chills from listening to it. I wrote most of the song sitting on the wooden bench in my kitchen waiting for my girlfriend to call me back (we break up in the next song). What's funny is I had NiggyTardust in mind the whole time even though the song is very personal, like Raw. When we mixed it I invited Persia White (XEO3 and 'Girlfriends') to do a little Cocteau Twinning on the outro. In the chronology of Niggy, this is the point of his story where he realizes that although the world seems to have divided him against himself, he can't lose. Its a triumph even though it's laden with heart break. He realizes that he has been broken to fit. -Saul Williams saulwilliams.com/cgi-bin/ubb/ultimatebb.cgi