Dear incredible Rolf Harris
I woke up this morning feeling awfully embarresed
This is my 26th letter and you still have no responded
Its not my fault that my thoughts have been bombared my your indescribable ways
Your connection with music
I have your signature on my wall so I never, ever lose it
I will never forget your didgeridoo
I'm learning it still and I've scraped a Grade 2
It sounds so earthy though I'm not as good as you
I'm gonna double up my lessons so I can be just like you
I was in a band, so I can understand
What its like to be a struggling musician
Hard to get your word out on the streets when nobody will listen
I play the keyboard
I'm Grade 6
Mum calls me Stevie Wonder
Its a bit embarrissing
I love playing the keyboard
I love Stevie Wonder too
But I love you more
Stevie's shit compared to you

You've made me vegatarian
After all your animal shows
Its actually rather easy
But a bit awkward at home
Mum won't cook anything without a creature in it
She can't give me an apple without rubbing a bit of meat around it
I said 'Mum I don't eat that, I'm veggie like Rolf'
She said 'Stop being so bloody difficult and do as you are told'

I adore your artwork
I've won some pieces at some auctions
I've got a big book at home - some of my own imitations
Of your excellent work
I sometimes draw my friends
Sometimes we all dress up and I play you for pretend
I wish I was you
I can dance you know
I could be everything about you
Except for the beard
Cos...obviously well...I'm a women and well that would just be wierd
Saying that, I have seen them
In fancy dress shops
Theres one on my highstreet I pop in quite a lot
But I digress
Its not about jokes
If it was a beard I was after I'd like other blokes
But they aren't all-round artists!
And like I've said I've captured all my friends as cartoons as caricatures
They all say 'Yeah Rolfs are good, but his aren't as good as yours'

Oh and lookie here
I'm not the only one to notice your so great
You've got a personal call to paint a royal portrait
And there you are
As quick as jack sticks to show off your art
Up to bloody Buckingham to paint the ageing tart!
26 times, Rolf, I've written to you
You've had your chance but now it has fled
Seems you think I was better off dead
You still won't paint me after all I've said?
I tie myself kangaroo down sport instead

Lyrics submitted by lizziejuk

Rolf Harris song meanings
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