Poor Dave, poor Dave
Three months ago his life was a soufflé
Poor Dave, poor Dave
Number ten was just a Miliband away
He banded words with Tony, kissed a baby, stroked a dog
Washed up for the WebCameron, and fessed up on his blog
Waited, gleaming pink, to take on Brown
But suddenly the greasy poles went down
You expect a big green medal,
As off to work you pedal
But that’s not the picture chosen for the news
For behind you there’s a Lexus
Using half the oil in Texas
With your sandwiches, your cell phone and your shoes
Oh it really isn’t easy being Dave
You have to be so very, very brave
Each unheralded event is making him less compos mentis
Than a newly fired apprentice, poor old Dave!
If, alas, you went to Eton,
Be as quiet as Buster Keaton
When they talk of education, education
If you mention shutting grammars
They’ll attack with special hammers
And shout two words; one “off”, one “fornication”
It really isn’t easy being Dave
For politics is more than a close shave
I would rather be called smelly,
Or throw beans made out of jelly
At a cricketer from Delhi than be Dave!
William Hague’s prospects are sunken,
Nobody remembers Duncan-Smith,
David Davis hasn’t got the knack,
You’ve defeated Michael Howard
But you still don’t feel empowered,
Every sunset you’re afraid that he’ll come back
It really isn’t easy being Dave
When your predecessor may rise from the grave
Every night’s another gamble
(Yes I know I start to ramble)
But I’d rather be Menzies Campbell than be Dave!
So in search of propaganda,
You head of to Rwanda,
While England feels ignored beneath the flood
And the disappointed Tories,
Still obsessed by former glories,
Load their shotguns, start baying for your blood
Oh, it really isn’t easy being Dave
Leading not so much a party, more a rave
Full of members who harrang ‘em,
And then flog ‘em, and then hang ‘em
I would rather be Chris Langham than be Dave!
Oh it really isn’t easy being Dave
It’s not a job that any of us craves
I would rather drown in slurry
Sleep with Edwina Currie
Even be a cow in Surrey than be Dave!
Poor Samantha, she must worry
His replacement (don’t all hurry!)
I would rather be anyone but Dave!
Oh I’m glad that I’m not Dave!


Lyrics submitted by Macphisto12

David Cameron song meanings
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