This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Yeah
You said I was your best friend
Ride or Die
You said I'm better than the next man
But never-mind
You said you love me this was back then
For old times
Before the money and the flex came
Collect dimes
My obsession with the rap game
Suicide
Had me sick and gave me back pain
Barely alive
But depression in my eyes
On the day you said goodbye
Had me soaking in that black rain
Yeah
Remember when we was happy
Planning trips to Miami
We had our meet-cute
And surprise party for Gaby
But then I started rapping and flexing
No one could stop me
And then I got a flow and a tone nobody could copy
I thought I was important
You called me and told me STOP IT
You told me my commitment is starting to make me cocky
I said it was a front just wanted promoters to spot me
My obsession with my rap was becoming more than a hobby
I need my own team
I recruited Quincy and Bobby
We started with some weed and then graduated to Molly
I used to go to parties and it started getting rowdy
You said you wanna join so I waited in the lobby
You said it was my patience and cadence that made me famous
You told me people love me cause I'm speaking to the layman
Focus on your craft
And stop focusing on payment
You said you love my soul
And you love my dedication
You said I was your best friend
Ride or Die
You said I'm better than the next man
But never-mind
You said you love me this was back then
For old times
Before the money and the flex came
Collect dimes
My obsession with the rap game
Suicide
Had me sick and gave me back pain
Barely alive
But depression in my eyes
On the day you said goodbye
Had me soaking in that black rain
Yeah
Look I never wanted money
I just wanted you to love me
But when we had our beef
You were the one who made it public
I'm at ease with my celebrity
I guess I had it coming
You hit me in my DM
I could feel it in my stomach
I joked about the past
But I guess it wasn't funny
I used to send you flowers
But I'd never say it's from me
I couldn't share my feelings
Had me feeling like a dummy
I couldn't see my future
My vision was kinda muddy
I lied
I made you cry
I tried
And I replied
You read
You said it's fine
I wept
You said goodbye
I slept
Because of pride
I kept
Losing my mind
I get
It's not the time I regret
Telling a lie
But I'm back
And I'm refined
I'm dead
On the inside
Buy I bet
I'm still the guy that can rap
And my addiction is sex
And my affliction is depth
I didn't leave but I'm back
The game wild so I'm strapped
I'm yellow bone but I'm black
You said I was your best friend
Ride or Die
You said I'm better than the next man
But never-mind
You said you love me this was back then
For old times
Before the money and the flex came
Collect dimes
My obsession with the rap game
Suicide
Had me sick and gave me back pain
Barely alive
But depression in my eyes
On the day you said goodbye
Had me soaking in that black rain
Yeah
Remember when we was happy
Planning trips to Miami
We had our meet-cute
And surprise party for Gaby
But then I started rapping and flexing
No one could stop me
And then I got a flow and a tone nobody could copy
I thought I was important
You called me and told me STOP IT
You told me my commitment is starting to make me cocky
I said it was a front just wanted promoters to spot me
My obsession with my rap was becoming more than a hobby
I need my own team
I recruited Quincy and Bobby
We started with some weed and then graduated to Molly
I used to go to parties and it started getting rowdy
You said you wanna join so I waited in the lobby
You said it was my patience and cadence that made me famous
You told me people love me cause I'm speaking to the layman
Focus on your craft
And stop focusing on payment
You said you love my soul
And you love my dedication
You said I was your best friend
Ride or Die
You said I'm better than the next man
But never-mind
You said you love me this was back then
For old times
Before the money and the flex came
Collect dimes
My obsession with the rap game
Suicide
Had me sick and gave me back pain
Barely alive
But depression in my eyes
On the day you said goodbye
Had me soaking in that black rain
Yeah
Look I never wanted money
I just wanted you to love me
But when we had our beef
You were the one who made it public
I'm at ease with my celebrity
I guess I had it coming
You hit me in my DM
I could feel it in my stomach
I joked about the past
But I guess it wasn't funny
I used to send you flowers
But I'd never say it's from me
I couldn't share my feelings
Had me feeling like a dummy
I couldn't see my future
My vision was kinda muddy
I lied
I made you cry
I tried
And I replied
You read
You said it's fine
I wept
You said goodbye
I slept
Because of pride
I kept
Losing my mind
I get
It's not the time I regret
Telling a lie
But I'm back
And I'm refined
I'm dead
On the inside
Buy I bet
I'm still the guy that can rap
And my addiction is sex
And my affliction is depth
I didn't leave but I'm back
The game wild so I'm strapped
I'm yellow bone but I'm black
Add your thoughts
Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.
Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!
More Featured Meanings
The Night We Met
Lord Huron
Lord Huron
Cajun Girl
Little Feat
Little Feat
Overall about difficult moments of disappointment and vulnerability. Having hope and longing, while remaining optimistic for the future. Encourages the belief that with each new morning there is a chance for things to improve.
The chorus offers a glimmer of optimism and a chance at a resolution and redemption in the future.
Captures the rollercoaster of emotions of feeling lost while loving someone who is not there for you, feeling let down and abandoned while waiting for a lover. Lost with no direction, "Now I'm up in the air with the rain in my hair, Nowhere to go, I can go anywhere"
The bridge shows signs of longing and a plea for companionship. The Lyrics express a desire for authentic connection and the importance of Loving someone just as they are. "Just in passing, I'm not asking. That you be anyone but you”
Dreamwalker
Silent Planet
Silent Planet
I think much like another song “Anti-Matter” (that's also on the same album as this song), this one is also is inspired by a horrifying van crash the band experienced on Nov 3, 2022. This, much like the other track, sounds like it's an extension what they shared while huddled in the wreckage, as they helped frontman Garrett Russell stem the bleeding from his head wound while he was under the temporary effects of a concussion. The track speaks of where the mind goes at the most desperate & desolate of times, when it just about slips away to all but disconnect itself, and the aftermath.
Magical
Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran
How would you describe the feeling of being in love? For Ed Sheeran, the word is “Magical.” in HIS three-minute album opener, he makes an attempt to capture the beauty and delicacy of true love with words. He describes the magic of it all over a bright Pop song produced by Aaron Dessner.
Head > Heels
Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran
“Head > Heels” is a track that aims to capture what it feels like to experience romance that exceeds expectations. Ed Sheeran dedicates his album outro to a lover who has blessed him with a unique experience that he seeks to describe through the song’s nuanced lyrics.