Eric Clapton – All Our Past Times

General CommentThis song makes me reflect on past times with someone I loved. With the New Year approaching, and wanting to close the book once and for all on a painful part of my life, I decided to post this comment. I recognize the similarities between this song and the situation with this love. I was the one to say "I'm sorry". I was the one to take the blame. I wasn't the one to throw it over. I have been the one to feel ashamed.

I have been treated poorly by people who I considered friends. That really hurts. In situations like these, one person is never solely to blame. He knows he played a big role in what happened between the two of us. Being judged unfairly is all part of the price I have paid. I was never anything but sweet to him. I had nothing but love. Getting over this is all a process and I am trying to figure it out. "I don't care how much it costs, I don't count the loss, as long as I can see your face again". When Eric Clapton sings this song, I understand. I'll always want to see his face again, I'll always want him to be happy. I know what true love is. I never would want him to be judged harshly for what happened between us. It was love. But, I wish he could admit his role and say "I'm sorry" to me.

This is a beautiful song. I am thankful that music can help us heal, can get us through. When I feel so sad and I really miss this person (who was a huge presence in my life), music can provide strength. This man was my friend. He meant a lot to me. He always will. I have dealt with many sad situations in my life, but none come close to this one. It has brought me a lot of tears, but when I see his face I always smile.

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General CommentI just read over my comments from December 30th and feel as though I need to clarify what I was trying to say. First of all regarding, "I don't want to be the one to say I'm sorry". I am afraid that I sounded defensive above. I mentioned that I was the one to apologize and take the blame, etc. Although an apology would be welcomed from him, it is not necessary. I have forgiven him for everything. No one did anything to purposely hurt anyone. I just wish he and I could talk about it all. I would happily take the blame, get raked over the coals, be thrown to the wolves... ANYTHING to protect him from harm. I truly "don't care how much it costs". I love this guy. Not PAST tense. I am guessing I always will.

Why do we fall in love with people we can't be with? It has never happened to me before. Eric Clapton was in love with Pattie Boyd (when she was married to George Harrison). They eventually wound up together and then had a volatile marriage. Now they are both married to different people. Who knows what the future will bring? And, although I want to put the pain of loving this man behind me, it isn't realistic. You can't just turn feelings off. Or flip a calendar to a new year and say, "Okay. All done with THAT." This person lives in my heart and takes up a hell of a lot of space. That is something that I am learning to live with. That is the process that I am trying to figure out.

I am thankful to have songs like "All Our Past Times". This song (and I love the live version the best) has helped me sort through some feelings. Music is priceless!

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