"Online" as written by Brad Douglas Paisley, Charles Christopher Dubois and John Kelley Lovelace....
I work down at the Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5 foot 3 and overweight
I'm a scifi fanatic
A mild asthmatic
And I've never been to second base
But there's whole ‘nother me
That you need to see
Go checkout MySpace

'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I'm a black-belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
So much cooler online

When I get home I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
And I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac
In real life the only time I’ve ever even been to L.A
Is when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade

Online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I've got a set of six pack abs that would blow your mind
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
So much cooler online

When you got my kind of stats
It’s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
Every time I login

Online
I’m out in Hollywood
I’m 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online

Yeah, I’m cooler online

Yeah, I’ll see ya online


Lyrics submitted by nick09111

Online song meanings
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9 Comments

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  • +1
    General CommentI can't believe no ones commented on this song yet! when i first heard this song i just busted up laughing. Brad paisley is the best - i love his music. This is not his best but its pretty darn funny
    inspiredforlifeon August 07, 2007   Link
  • +1
    General CommentThis is the song that nearly made my aunt crash her car when she heard it. One of the things that Brad Paisley has really become known for is his humor songs. "I'm Gonna Miss Her" "Celebrity" "Alcohol" and now this one. He mocks culture in a way that is so easy to relate to and damn catchy, I've been humming the chorus of this song for a few days.
    ErinsEmoTearson August 14, 2007   Link
  • +1
    General CommentThis song is stuck in my head and will not leave. I know people who are like that on myspace, not as extreme of course, but fake nonetheless. society has issues, and brad calls it out on them.
    mjw1989on October 04, 2007   Link
  • +1
    General CommentI agree with mjw...This song calls out these issues....but it is kinda sad that some people are like that...it makes them feel better abt. themselves mabey....but great song
    JG66on November 24, 2007   Link
  • +1
    General Commentthis song is freaking hilarious. cracks me up.
    MeanLookstheIIIon December 05, 2007   Link
  • +1
    General Commenti can totally relate to this song.. it's so meaningful to me :'(
    janellworkson May 03, 2008   Link
  • +1
    General Commentwhy aren't there more comments on this song. It's great and hilarious. If anyone who is offended by it can go to hell.
    dave1701on May 28, 2011   Link
  • +1
    General CommentIm not sure if there is a video that goes with this song, but when I hear it I always picture that guy who was a big youtube phenomenon singing that myeeaa-heee myeeaa-hooo song and pumping his arms about. V funny!
    LettersFromWaron February 04, 2012   Link
  • +1
    General CommentLove this song. I know some people say it pokes fun at people who weren't born beautiful.

    What they don't realize is that it also mocks people who ARE beautiful. In both people being described, the nerd and the Hollywood supermodel, the nerd is arguably the better person.
    S14on December 16, 2013   Link

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