I don't know what I was gonna do
but now I figured out what I'm gonna do
I was gonna chop some wood
but now my plans have changed
this day is very strange
it changed my whole perspective
this day is very different
I don't know what everything that happened in it meant
I went to Kentucky Fried Chicken
I walked into their kitchen
they didn't want me back there, they said I was just a customer
but that's not why I went there, I didn't want to buy anything.
I just wanted to chop some more wood, some more wood.
I don't know why they wouldn't let me in there, or in there.
Hey, an elf busted up a cop.
Play in traffic with Ben Affleck.
Fruit stand! Fruit stand!
There was a fruit stand in the middle of a garden.
I didn't understand why, 'cause it was only Bush Gardens which is a semi-local amusement park.
It's not like the fruit was grown there, 'cause they would just have roller coasters instead of fruit.
And they weren't selling roller coasters at that fruit stand.
Anhaueser Bush owns Bush Gardens.
Make me cry.
Audio cassette tapes, they go snap in my tape player 'cause the motor is so bad.
It's the worst one that I ever had, the worst experience of my later--more recent years.
Every time I brush my teeth I cannot help but fall asleep.
Every time I brush my teeth I cannot help but fall asleep.
I don't understand why, but I'm standing looking in the mirror, and in the corner of the bathroom there's a spider.
Every time I brush my teeth I cannot help but fall asleep.
Every time I brush my teeth I cannot help but own a jeep.
Every time I fall asleep I cannot help but kill a sheep,
and everyone is happy.
Ninjas on my roof, they are living proof
that this whole life is a spoof of the cosmic cube.
That doesn't rhyme with f.
Then I got a plan, how I would heal the world, all the boys and girls.
Buy a chocolate bar. You cannot go far
without another chocolate bar in your pants that'll melt
and you can't wash your pants with any other clothes.
'cause it might stain them all.
You don't know if your pants are even salvageable
so why would you try? Why would I?
I know that I sure would not
I once constructed a bridge in a past life, it went over a river
which was really stupid
because they tried to put train tracks underneath it
but the train just sunk but it had nothing to do with my architectural careerrear
I just said career
Can you shake it, can you shake it, can you shake your ass real fast?
Can you shake it, can you shake it, I don't even know why I asked.
You're just a lost cause for shaking your booty.
My cat is sniffing my hand, I think she just wants my attention.
Pee in the sink. Pee in the sink.
What would you think if you saw me pee in the sink?
I'm sorry misses Johnsen, we had to sacrifice your son
for the sake of everyone left in the world
we traded him to the aliens for their promise that they wouldn't attack us.
Of course we know how that turned out, they attacked us anyway.
I guess shows that you can't trust an alien you've never met before.
Why did I even try to bargain with those aliens?
Now we're all dead except your son, misses Johnsen, he's still with the aliens.
So I guess he is the only one that lived from the planet earth.
Even little animals and insects and fish they are all dead because the aliens could not tell
who was the smartest, who was in charge of our planet.
You really can't blame them.
I like to chop the wood, I just wish there'd been a better way
than what happened today.
It was a miserable failure.
So when you go to sleep tonight,
just remember that we didn't go down without a fight.
Everyone is chopping wood.
It's a wood chopping party.
Just close your eyes and you will find
there was no better way
than what happened today.
I never even checked in with you afterward.
What was the final word? Was this whole thing absurd?
Or did you throw a monkey turd through the ceiling
accidentally murdering your upstairs neighbor as the turd penetrated his skull but not in the same way as it would be if it was from a skull fuck
it's not that sort of penetration
he really died
he fell to the floor and the blood drained from his skull
on to your own carpet and you saw the leak
and you called the man and he came out and he clogged the leak
but no one ever found out that you had killed your neighbor
so there was never a funeral no one even called
from where he guy used to work because he was such a jerk
and I don't know what else I could say about him.
I guess this is the closest he'll ever have to a eulogy.
That poor bastard was never really well liked.
I didn't like him either.
Chopping wood, chopping wood, chopping wood is such a fun thing to do.
Chopping wood, chopping wood, chopping wood is so good.
Chopping wood, chopping wood is better than shopping for any sort of canned goods or dry goods, chopping wood.
Chopping wood, chopping wood, chopping wood, won't you join me?
Chopping wood, chopping wood, join me and be free.
Chopping wood, chopping wood, chopping wood, chopping wood.
I don't think that the department store could have ever charged a dollar more for everything we were here for
'cause everything was for another purpose than the one we originally intended.
we made an event out of it.
Chopping wood, chopping wood in aisle three
Chopping wood, chopping wood from you to me
Chopping wood, chopping wood in aisle two
Chopping wood, chopping wood I like when you
Chop that wood, chop that wood in aisle one
Chopping wood, chopping wood now wasn't that fun?
Chopping wood, chopping wood, chopping wood, chopping wood.


Lyrics submitted by SpooktheHerd

Wood Chopper 2: Streets of Fear song meanings
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