Guided missiles are on their way to save the USofA
But will they really work? I don't beleive they will because
all this country needs is a good dose of chopping wood.
Chopping Wood.
If you even could you should, you should be here
you should be here chopping wood.
I need to see a doctors note if you are not here
chopping wood today.
It's your duty as a patriotic citizen of the USA.
Chop chop chop...
Chopping wood.
Ice Cream man said he would be back next week,
but he did not show up, it made me throw up
waiting for the Ice Cream Man out in the sun
the contents of my stomach started to boil
so out they poured on to the street
on to my feet
the neighbors gathered round and they found a secret treasure.
They found an aviator, he had quit his job because...
well I guess there was no reason.
In fact I think he was mentally handicapped, because he had a really cool job.
Why would he leave it, why wouldn't you chop the wood when we asked you so politely?
There was a gopher applying for the job that the man left.
But the gopher it just wasn't big enough to reach the steering wheel of the plane.
What a shame. Everybody sign your name, to the petition, so that that gopher can have a customized plane built specifically for him to fly.
It's a fork and knife made of plastic wrapped in plastic with a napkin.
Have you ever seen anything like it?
I sure as shit have not.
It's amazing, can I take it home to show my baby brother and sister?
Golly boy I missed her and him, 'cause I've been away from home too long.
I had to make this song because of how much I miss my family.
Do you ever practice dentistry on your neighbors?
Do you ever practice dentistry on your favorite school teacher?
DO you ever practice dentistry on anybody who isn't me?
'Cause I'm tellin' you now that I'm getting pretty sick and tired of it.
Why can't you cut that shit out? 'Cause I don't like it.
Hey yeah yeah.
Where is the grocery store? Is it in aisle four?
The desert island had a coconut on it, but it didn't have a tree.
I guess the coconut just floated here from some much cooler island.
This island's really just a lump of sand.
I wonder if we dug down deep enough, what would we find?
Would we find a secret passage way to another island that's much cooler than this one?
The sheep on the mountain,
they looked over the city and they knew that they weren't missing much
being trapped between those fences
the city's pretty crummy to sheep, they really didn't like it.
or were they really mountain goats?
I think they were.
They owned a boat.
A boat that floats
on wa-ter!
Earth Worm climbed out of his hole that morning.
He saw all of us.
He didn't understand why we were doing everything that he saw us doing
so he reported us for indecent behavior in public.
He was a respected member of the city council,
but after all of that he lost my respect.
Why'd he have to ruin our fun? We were chopping wood for everyone.
Chopping wood.
The whole god damn forest is gone.
There's no more trees for anyone.
But now there's a big feild where we can have a picnic and sit on tree stumps.
Except if I see a tree stump I'm gonna feel inclined to chop it, 'cause that's how devoted I am to chopping wood.
It is a good experience, I highly recommend it.
If you don't chop wood, what's your problem, man?


Lyrics submitted by SpooktheHerd

Wood Chopper song meanings
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