Speak. Speak your mind
You're always telling me I need to open mine
And wait, wait your turn
Then shut me out cuz' you've got nothing left to learn

You say there's nothing wrong with being proud
So, tell me what you love and say it loud
Now here's the dose that you've been dishing out:

If you're listening this is how much it hurts
If you're listening this is how much it hurts

Oh, I'm wrong - I'm wrong again
But not because of where I stand but where I've been
And it burns, you know it burns like hell
To know there's nothing left to do but wish you well

You say there's nothing wrong with being proud
So, tell me what you love and say it loud
I've been good enough to stay and hear you out

But you're wrong - You're never wrong

You say there's nothing wrong with being proud
So, tell me what you love and say it loud
I've been giving you the benefit of the doubt

If you're listening this is how much it hurts
If you're listening this is how much it hurts
If you're listening this is how much it hurts
If you're listening this is how much it hurts


Lyrics submitted by crziblonde08

How Much It Hurts song meanings
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9 Comments

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  • 0
    General CommentI'd really like someone else's perspective on this, it's killing me. I'm guessing it's about someone who feels that their partner think they're always the better one in the relationship. The singer feels neglected in that the partner never claim their pride for them and always has the upper hand. No idea.
    vivalainfuon July 08, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI'd really like someone else's perspective on this, it's killing me. I'm guessing it's about someone who feels that their partner think they're always the better one in the relationship. The singer feels neglected in that the partner never claim their pride for them and always has the upper hand. No idea.
    vivalainfuon July 08, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI think it's like this:
    Someone breaks up with someone else (great, vague language, let's call them a girl and a boy for ease) and their explanation is "you never tell me how you feel" etc. (speak, your mind you're always telling me I need to open mine) and the guy is just trying to explain that they really do want to stay together, and he's telling the girl "If you're listening this is how much it hurts" like he doesn't know if she even cares anymore.
    xwaitinthefirexon July 16, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General CommentIt's a song of heartache and exasperation. The man has given himself to someone who is still cold and distant too him, who still shuts him out
    ("speak, speak your mind
    And wait, wait your turn
    Then shut me out cuz' you've got nothing left to learn)

    He's given himself to her, and she's afraid of giving herself to him. She has unresolved doubt, possibly coming from insecurity about how she feels, or misunderstanding about how he feels. So he writes this song to tell her, straight-up, fuck your insecurity. I love you. You need to get over your shit, 'cause my emotions here are real, and that's all that matters. That's what the chorus is all about. It hurts him like hell, but he's still here, he's still striving for their relationship. How much it hurts and how long he persits are simply testaments to his love, so wake up and smell the roses, honey. Your daddy didn't love you enough, you were raped, you think you're ugly, you nitpick at the guys flaws, afraid of getting with a guy who might be a little arrogant or obstinate. GET OVER IT. That's what this song is about, and it's sung in the most tender fashion to make any stubborn girl's heart melt. Learn to play this song the way John Mayer plays it, then do it for your girl. She'll love you forever after this.
    LightBahamuton July 19, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI see it a little differently.

    The songwriter already knows the relationship's over. But he wants an explaination for why he is hurting so much. He needs closure.

    So he is telling her:
    (1st verse)"Now is your chance to get everything out.(Speak your mind).
    You were never afraid to criticize before, so why are you afraid to hurt me with the truth now?(You're always telling me I need to open mine).
    Give me a chance to talk to you... At least act like you will hear me, even though I know you aren't listening, because you (foolishly) think you know everything about yourself, and life, and love already.
    (And wait, wait your turn
    Then shut me out cuz' you've got nothing left to learn)

    Chorus: You say that your pride is an okay thing to have,(You say there's nothing wrong with being proud) but you don't seem very proud of what you have done or are doing. So tell me why you never gave us a real chance.(So, tell me what you love and say it loud) Tell me what it was that always kept us from being happy. And here is my 2 cents, if you care.(If you're listening this is how much it hurts)

    2nd verse: You think that because I'm not you, because I haven't been through the things you have, that I can't understand, that I can't know what to do or how you feel.(I'm wrong again, but not because of where I stand but where I've been).
    And it hurts more than you could ever know, it's killing me, but I it's over, and I know it.(And it burns, you know it burns like hell) It hurts to know that we will never work and all I can do for you is hope you find the happiness you are looking for, I hope you are okay. I hope one day you let someone try to love you.(To know there's nothing left to do but wish you well)

    Chorus variation: I was big enough to sit here, knowing you never let me in, you lied to me, decieved me with your feelings, and let you try to explain yourself. (I've been good enough to stay and hear you out). But I'm right... this time I am right(about you never giving us a real shot.)(But you're wrong - You're never wrong).

    Chorus variation: This whole time I went along with what you told me when you said you loved me, you wanted me.(I've been giving you the benefit of the doubt) And now I am torn up inside because of it.(If you're listening this is how much it hurts)
    GoDeeperon July 31, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Comment^^ That was my first songmeaning I have done... how was it?
    GoDeeperon July 31, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthis song is AMAZING. i could listen to it a million and more times!! i'm in love! :-D
    EmCooke17on December 02, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Commenti agree with LightBahamut
    "Speak. Speak your mind. You're always telling me I need to open mine, Then shut me out cuz' you've got nothing left to learn" so this girl keeps asking him to "express his feelings and tell her how he feels and then he does and wants her to do the same but she gets scared and pushes him away

    "You say there's nothing wrong with being proud. So, tell me what you love and say it loud. Now here's the dose that you've been dishing out:" so shes being hipocritical and being too proud for a relationship or admitting to anything...so she claimed to be hurt by him for him not telling her the truth of his feelings when she did the same thing back and hes hoping she sees that

    "I'm wrong again. But not because of where I stand but where I've been. And it burns, you know it burns like hell. to know there's nothing left to do but wish you well" he feels like he made the wrong decision telling her because he only ended up hurting himself and he feels no hope left for them but to just wish she is happy and it hurts him so bad.

    "You say there's nothing wrong with being proud
    I've been good enough to stay and hear you out
    But you're wrong - You're never wrong
    I've been giving you the benefit of the doubt"
    hes satyed around to listen to her excuses for not engaging into a relationship and she always thinks shes right when in reality shes wrong and he kept listening to her excuses. and he just wants her to know how much she is hurting him
    simplycomplex11on May 15, 2008   Link
  • 0
    Song MeaningI love this song so much. It truly touches me. In my case this really explains so many things that my ex-boyfriend and i went through in our relationship. We just split up two days ago (mainly) because I live in California, and he just moved to Florida. We were together for the best yet worst year (14 months) of my life. For me this song is about again in my case a girl who really wants her man to open up and really let her in to comfort him. He could be so closed off, because he was so hurt in his past. Her man tells the girl that he loves her with all of his heart and would be so proud to show her off to the world as his woman. But, he's so scared of being hurt because of his past that he just can't fully trust her.

    We would fight all the time, almost every day because he didn't trust me. He would always accuse me of staring at guys, his brother and even his dad... I stopped talking to all of my guy friends and I dropped all my friends, even girl friends, for him. I was with him almost every second of the day besides going to school and going to work. He would keep count of all my Facebook friends... I couldn't even be in the same room as I guy by myself, even if they were my friend... There were just so many unnecessary things that I couldn't do. We fought not only because of his past where his ex-girlfriend before me cheated on him, but because of my so-called "promiscuous" past. He is the only guy that I ever made love to, but in my past when I was single, well... I lived the single life (without the sex). He didn't understand that who I am when I am single, isn't the person that I am when I am in a fully committed relationship. I am a hopeless romantic. I don't believe in cheating, and I never ever cheated on him and I never would cheat on anyone that I was with. He never trusted me, not only because of his past, but because of my past. He never understood that I was in this just for him, in the present. (But not because of where I stand but where I've been)

    And it hurt me so badly to know that I didn't deserve to be treated the way he treated me sometimes, but I loved him too much to let him go. He said that if I stayed with him, it would help to heal his trust issues but we were together for over a year and he never got better. (And it burns, you know it burns like hell)
    Now that he had to move to Florida, we decided that it was best if we went our separate ways, especially since he couldn't trust me when we lived together, how could he trust me all the way in Florida. We would just keep fighting over stupid bullshit. So now that we can't be together even though we love each other so much, there is nothing we can do but wish each other the very best life.

    All this time I continued to stay with him, because I hoped that he would change and start to trust me. (I've been giving you the benefit of the doubt)

    I still love my ex-boyfriend, and a part of me always will. I just wish that he could have opened up to me, trusted me and that things could have worked about better, because he is an amazing person despite all the pain we went through.

    This is just how I hear the song in my own experience...
    butwhenwewakeon August 24, 2009   Link

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