The Jeopardy of Contentment

basically, this is an apology.
I still know what's best for both of us, kid.
we've been through enough.
there's nothing left to prove.
the feeling's mutual, but not exclusive.

alibis are only excuses -
allowances for us to abuse the truth.
the truth is i'm done with them.
you may not ever hear them again.

and still they only fulfill so much until
we have to fess up and face the facts
the best we can or live with the consequence...
the resulting accident.

our patience is fading.
consider this courtesy,
if not somewhat evasive underneath.
but even if it just thrills my soul,
or it burns another hole,
I've got to let it go
before we can't.
so long.
you've got to believe there's something better out there,
someone better out there for you than me.

so, there you left me standing
to fend for myself forever.
but I'm holding up,
I'm pulling through.
I'm not sure what else you expect me to do.
but I won't deny that I'm taking it hard...
I'm taking whatever's available to me.
you see, that's just the way I deal with grief.

since I left you here
in our destroyed machine,
I fear you've grown immune
to the difference between
whether you're holding on
or you're just holding out.
do me a favor, love.
let me go.
let me loose before it's too late to choose.

while your pride is numb,
while your face is still young,
while your hands are still clean,
just wash yourself of me.