"Teddy Picker" as written by and Alex Turner....
Despair to the point will they provoke
The punchline before they have told the joke
The sheer desperation to be seen
Staring at the television screen

Despair to the point where they provoke
You to tell the fucking punchline before you have told the joke
Sorry, sunshine, it doesn't exist
It wasn't in the top one hundred list

And it's the thousandth time, and it's even bolder
Don't be surprised when you get bent over
He told ya that you were dying for it

She saw it, and she grabbed it, and it wasn't what it seemed
The kids all dream of making it, whatever that means
Another variation on a theme
A tangle on the television and the magazine
Do you reckon that they do it for a joke?
Do you reckon that they make 'em take an oath
That says 'we are defenders
Of any poseur or professional pretender around

When did your list replace the twist and turn
Ah, the fist replaced the kissed-on concern
And if you're bothered, I don't want your prayers
Save it for the morning after

And it's the thousandth time, and it's even bolder
Don't be surprised when you get bent over
He told ya that you were dying for it

Let's have a game on the Teddy Picker
Not quick enough, can I have it quicker?
Already thick and you're getting thicker
Let's have a game on the Teddy Picker
Not quick enough, can I have it quicker?
Already thick, and you're getting thicker

Assuming that all things are equal
Who'd want to be men of the people
When there's people like you?


Lyrics submitted by backlash_x, edited by kitteo, ArcticMonkey1

"Teddy Picker" as written by Alex Turner

Lyrics © EMI Music Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

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Teddy Picker song meanings
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  • +6
    General CommentFrom what i've heard, and my boyfriend agrees with me, is that Teddy Picker literally depicts one of those arcade machines; the grabbing ones. The meaning of the song is how music nowadays, anyone can become famous, i.e. you could just pick anyone on the teddy picker and there you go. There are however good bands who are really good but they don't get the recognition they deserve as random bands are being picked out all the time, and because they are trendy, everyone loves them
    If that makes any sense?
    There is also a band that the Arctics used to support who are still around now, and they are so good, great music and great lyrics. They have a great fanbase, but because they have been "teddy picked" they've not become famous. It's kind of (slightly) in their defence, and in defence of other musicians in the same position.
    twiggydollon December 16, 2007   Link
  • +4
    General CommentThis is in the wikipedia
    I hope it helps you all out as much as it's helped me
    hahah... it's actually not that hard to find it..
    but here it is

    The song refers to the popularity of celebrities. A 'teddy picker' is British slang for a crane machine, a popular machine at carnivals where prizes, particularly stuffed animals, are picked by a mechanical crane. The song equates a person getting noticed as a celebrity with a prize being picked up by a crane-a result of luck. The song expresses annoyance with people who are so desperate to be famous that they do over-the-top things to get attention, such as participate in reality shows. Such occurrences of reality show 'stars' being treated as real celebrities are especially prevalent in the UK, the home of Arctic Monkeys, where the show Big Brother has spawned such national icons as Jade Goody. The line "don't be surprised when you get bent over" refers to the amount of celebrities or media darlings that are tricked or persuaded by the industry to continue their attention seeking by promises of fame or money.
    waks85on July 11, 2008   Link
  • +3
    General Comment"it sped up to the point where they provoke"
    "you see a desperation to be seen"
    "he told you, but you were dying for it"
    "when did your list replace the twist and turn
    and And your fist replace the kiss
    Dont concern us with your bollocks
    I dont want your prayer
    Save it for the morning after"
    thats how i hear it anyway lol
    arcticnayloron April 24, 2007   Link
  • +3
    General CommentThis song is actually brilliant.
    Firstly, my interpretation is a very realistically modern motto based around the Arctic Monkey's home town of Sheffield.
    Teddy picker is the name given to an almost sub-culture of people, usually men, who are beyond arrogance and think the world of themselves. Like the song says, they'll annoy you so much by telling you the "punch line before you have told the joke".
    Then the song goes on to depict that one day, if those people stay like that then someone will choose to emit harm upon them, in this case the teddy picker has been told a "thousand times" and he's getting "bolder" and he was warned, before someone took it upon themselves to violently bring harm to him.
    The term "get bent over" is often mistaken for meaning rape, when in retrospect it is a cruel modern day means of attack where a person is stabbed in the behind, effective and common as if caught, it is not attempt to murder but simply violent attack.
    mistymooon August 13, 2008   Link
  • +2
    General Commentits about reality tv 'celebrities'. its a reference to the modern media buzz of throwing 'nobodies' into the public eye for ten minutes at a time
    ,tAn-xon April 18, 2007   Link
  • +2
    General CommentWTF guys, i don't understand why all these web sites with songs lyrics don't take them directly from the artists official site!
    This song is wrong everywhere.
    This is the RIGHT lyrics:

    THEY'VE sped up to the point where they provoke, the punch-line
    before they have told the joke, PLENTY of desperation to be seen, staring at the television screen, sped up to the point where they provoke you to tell the fucking punch-line, before you have told the joke, "Sorry sunshine it doesn't exist. It wasn't in the top 100 list"

    It's the 1000th time that it's even bolder,
    don't be surprised when you get bent over,
    they told you but you were dying for it

    Saw it and she grabbed it and it wasn't what it seemed,
    the kids all dream of making it, whatever that means

    Another variation on a theme,
    a tangle on the television and the magazine
    Do you reckon that they do it for a joke?
    Do you reckon that they make them take an oath that
    says: "We are defenders of any poser or professional pretender around"

    When did your list replace the twist and turn like a fist, replaced A KISS, DON'T CONCERN US WITH YOUR BOLLOCKS,
    I don't want your prayer save it for the morning after.

    Let's have a game on the teddy picker
    "not quick enough can I have it quicker"
    already thick and your getting thicker

    PRESUMING all things are equal who'd want to be men of the people,
    when there's people like you.
    Tekkiuson August 17, 2011   Link
  • +1
    General Commentthis song is brilliant, one of the best on the album
    the bassline at the start is really cool and catchy
    brainstew13on April 11, 2007   Link
  • +1
    General Commentohh its actually
    'Despair to the point till they provoke'

    'The sheer desperation to be scene/seen'

    'He told ya, that you were gagging for it'

    'When did your list replace the twist and turn?
    Ah the fist, replaced the kissed-on concern
    And if you're bothered, I don't want your prayers
    Save it for the morning after'
    ,tAn-xon April 23, 2007   Link
  • +1
    General CommentSome of these lyrics are wrong sorry in my opinion I'm pretty sure he's saying:

    "When did your list replace the twist and turn like a fist, replace the kiss, don't concern us with your bollocks I don't want your prayers, save it for the morning after."

    Thanks :) (from the north)
    ArcticMorrisseyJPRGon April 17, 2014   Link
  • 0
    General Commentis teddy picker a northern phrase like mardy bum? the song is obviosly about their abhorence of the media though. can anyone tell me what the teddy picker is? soz im a southern softie. lol :)
    lukeashmooreon April 16, 2007   Link

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