Sit back now
Let me tell you a tale
Where justice does not prevail

About an ill-fated life
So very full of strife
Where two wrongs do not make a right

So

When I was born
I did surely scorn
My proud parent's name
Then their lives went down the drain
Drove them insane
My birth was a curse
I bit the nurse
Oh, but I love the worst

I deserve to be slowly submersed
Dried out then laid in a hearse

When I was two
I poured super glue
Into my fathers hair
As he sat unaware
In his arm chair
Much to his dismay
Had to cut it all away
Oh, but it felt great

I deserve to be cut and filleted
Then tossed about in disarray
Until the pieces melt away

I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
But it's not quite what it seems
(Not quite what he seems)
Not quite what I seem

Aw, hell
It's exactly what it seems

When I was four
I'd wait by the door
With a knife in my hand
And a most devious plan
It would be quite grand
As the mail fell through the slot
The sharp edge he got
Oh, but I love the thought

I deserve to be tied in a knot
Broken bones and blood clots

When I was six
I used to trick
The next door neighbor's son
In the woods we would run
Time for fun
Hide-and-seek has a cost
He would be forever lost
Oh, but I love to scoff

I deserve to have my head lopped off
Hidden and covered in moss
Until this memory's forgot

I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
But it's not quite what it seems
(Not quite what he seems)
Not quite what I seem

Aw, hell
It's exactly what it seems

When I was eight
I used to hate
The color of my house
So as quiet as a mouse
I burned it down
To the ground
When no one was around
Oh, but I love the sound

I deserve to be quickly put down
Rotting six feet underground

When I was ten
I used to pretend
To drown in the sea
'Til they'd come to rescue me
Then preceed
To laugh in their face
Such a disgrace
Oh, but I love the taste

I deserve to have my brains displaced
All over the fireplace
Until this life has been erased

I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
But it's not quite what it seems
(Not quite what he seems)
Not quite what I seem

Aw, hell
It's exactly what it seems

When I was twelve
I used to delve
Into evil schemes
Just to elicit screams
Boost my self-esteem
Pushed my sister down a well
She just fell
Oh, but I love to dwell

I deserve to roast deep down in hell
Where no one can hear me yell

When I was fourteen
Nothing much happened

Well, there was that one time

I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
But it's not quite what it seems
(Not quite what he seems)
Not quite what I seem

Aw, hell
It's exactly what it seems

When I was sixteen
Life was frightening
My brother was quite dull
So with laughter in my skull
Pushed him in a hole
Then buried him alive
He barely survived
Oh, but I love the cries

I deserve to be battered and fried
In an electric chair that's set on high

Now that I'm eighteen
I still hate things
From this padded cell I call my home
No friends, no phone
No life to call my own

Here I will lie
Until the very day I die
Until my blood begins to dry
And I return to the darkness from whence I came

So

I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
But it's not quite what it seems
Not quite what I seem

Aw, hell
I'm exactly what I seem


Lyrics submitted by horrorcunt

Such Horrible Things Lyrics as written by .

Lyrics © TuneCore Inc., KILLPHONIC

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Such Horrible Things song meanings
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7 Comments

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  • +1
    General Comment

    this song makes me laugh. creature feature is pretty awesome. this song reminds me of something off the nightmare before christmas.

    :]

    A_Worthless_Drugon November 16, 2007   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    this song is so much fun to sing a long to. esp the "Ah, Hell! I'm Exactly What I Seem." parts.

    thelivingfreakon March 30, 2008   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    One of my favorite songs. It always reminds me of Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.

    Freewheeleron June 19, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    I think this song is pretty much past awesome. It's terrific, I love this song :D Its soo much fun to sing along with.

    foblover102on March 01, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    This song is great, so addicting lol XD Great beat, great lyrics haha

    Morphinehazeon March 26, 2010   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    Good song, good beat, really strangely enjoyable sadistic feel. I still love "WHEN I WAS FOURTEEN... Sigh nothing much happened... Well, there was that one time!" makes me chuckle every time I hear it

    Greenflameon May 11, 2010   Link
  • 0
    My Interpretation

    Most likely about someone who's utterly batsh*t nuts/insane and acknowledges it ("Ah, Hell, It's Exactly What It Seems")

    TKProdoctionson June 28, 2013   Link

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