One-way system smooth and commendable
Go by bus - they're highly dependable
The swings in the park for the kids have won awards
The clean streets, acknowledged in the Lords

But what's a park if you can't see a linnet?
A timetable if your journey's infinite?
My bag's packed and I'm leaving in a minute
For what is Chatteris without you in it?

Car crime's low, the gun crime's lower
The town hall band's CD, it's a grower
You never hear of folk getting knocked on the bonce
Although there was a drive-by shouting once

But there's a brass band everywhere
And I don't drive, so I don't care
And as a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square :
"What's Chatteris if you're not there?"

Like a game bird reserve, short on pheasants
Weavers Cottages devoid of tenants
A market town that lacks quintessence :
That's Chatteris without your presence

Three good butchers, two fine chandlers
An indoor pool and a first class cake shop
Ofsted plaudits, envy of the Fens
Prick barriers at both ends

But what's Chatteris if you're not there?
What's Chatteris if you're not there?
What's Chatteris if you're not there?
What's Chatteris if you're not there?

What's Chatteris if you're not there?
What's Chatteris if you're not there?
I may as well be in Ely or St. Ives...


Lyrics submitted by azureskies

For What Is Chatteris... song meanings
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3 Comments

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  • +2
    General CommentA friend visiting me in our small country village asked me if we got many "drive-by shoutings". Seconds later someone leaned out of a car window and yelled "f*** off" at us.
    paul_fon June 03, 2009   Link
  • +1
    General CommentThis song has done for Chatteris what "Withnail & I" did for Penryth!
    Munichon March 28, 2007   Link
  • +1
    General CommentI live in a market town that lacks quintessence. Oh my, but it's a sad state of affairs. What a lovely way to tell someone that life ain't worth it without them.
    whatischatterison July 05, 2008   Link

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