Yeah, most of my adult life I've been torn into two
If you love me, then I love you and this song is for you
It's tight hard when you know what you said
And your shorty seein' you as an emotional wreck
The closer I get, it's like the farther I feel
And my heart has turned into this heavy armor and steel
It's hard to be real, hard to listen to the dumb shit
And I take a lot of pills 'cause it numbs shit
I wish I had another path to follow
Wish that I could be a man and learn to pass the bottle
A graphic novel, my future a box or an urn
Havin' dreams about death, but I'm not that concerned
And I'm diseased, through the seasons they turn
Watchin' leaves from the trees turn disease and they burn
I'm eager to learn, but I'm holdin' my breath
And everyday alive is just another closer to death

Yeah, I've been alive longer then I expected to be
And took care of everything that's expected of me
Took care of my girl and my mother
I told her that I'm always here and I love her
I handle shit differently 'cause I'm grown now
And the truth is that I'd rather be alone now
I'd rather not have to deal with the day
And I hate when people ask me how I'm feelin' today
My brother Rasul, we had a beef and grudge
But we grew up together, cousin, so it's peace and love
I wish all the best, I wish all the shine
I wish I didn't wanna offer my thoughts with a nine
I'm thoughtful and kind, but I'm evil alas
But everything I love has turned to a tedious task
I feel that life a waiting game for people to pass
But nobody ever want you to see through the mask

Yeah, I don't wanna be a burden to y'all
I just wanna know exactly what my purpose is for
I feel like nothin' I do is ever right
And that I'm actin' a fool another night
And I admit, I don't take care of myself
So I do a lot of thinkin' and preparing myself
'Cause the fact is my father died young and I might, too
And it ain't any way to tell what I might do
I don't wanna leave my mother behind
I don't want for her to cry, because the struggle is mine
I don't want for her to grind no more
I don't want for her to work a 9-to-5 no more
I ain't have to work a fuckin' 9-to-5 before
So I'm tryin' to get this money to provide for y'all
And if the shit ain't work out and I'm suddenly gone
Just remember that the motherfuckin' love isn't gone
Pazman


Lyrics submitted by B-line

Black Winter Day song meanings
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7 Comments

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  • 0
    General CommentThis is a truly beautiful song. It can make you hit rock bottom, but it can also give you some much needed hope. I love it. You can feel Vinnie's pain.
    maffy06on May 22, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Comment1 of their best, The simple beat, with the exelent word play fits perfectly, plus the chorus is perfect for the song.
    sphynx01on August 20, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Commenti think the chorus goes like this...*it was left out, so here u are....

    (chorus)
    Torn apart now
    I cannot have a strong relation
    Confusion, of your related
    Torn apart now
    These are the choices we made
    Do I follow or walk away

    -Blackfade
    Blackfadeon October 03, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Commentmy bad **Swallow instead of follow... this is a deep song, it gets u to vibe..

    -Blackfade
    Blackfadeon October 03, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General CommentVinniePazBaby!! Man this song is deep. The chorus is definitely a great fit. One of the best on the cd
    convinceon November 18, 2008   Link
  • 0
    My Interpretationi think this song is about Vinny Paz's life & having depression..

    for example..

    "The closer I get, it's like the farther I feel
    And my heart has turned into this heavy armor and steel
    It's hard to be real, hard to listen to the dumb shit
    And I take a lot of pills 'cause it numbs shit"


    "I handle shit differently 'cause I'm grown now
    And the truth is that I'd rather be alone now
    I'd rather not have to deal with the day
    And I hate when people ask me how I'm feelin' today"

    "I'm thoughtful and kind, but I'm evil alas
    But everything I love has turned to a tedious task
    I feel that life a waiting game for people to pass
    But nobody ever want you to see through the mask"

    "I don't wanna be a burden to y'all
    I just wanna know exactly what my purpose is for
    I feel like nothin' I do is ever right
    And that I'm actin' a fool another night
    And I admit, I don't take care of myself
    So I do a lot of thinkin' and preparing myself"

    we could all relate to these lyrics one point or another during stressful times in life.
    Kmess17on January 27, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Commentoh and this is the correct hook::::::

    Torn apart now,
    I cannot have this combination
    And fusion of your elixirs.
    Torn apart now,
    These are the choices we make:
    Do I swallow or walk away?
    convinceon October 19, 2009   Link

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