This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
[Vinnie Paz]
Yeah, I don't know why I'm over here, this job is evil
They sent me here to Vietnam to kill innocent people
My mother always said, "The president, he doesn't care"
He tryin' to leave the footprints of America here
They say we tryin' to stop Chinese expansion
But I ain't seen no Chinese since we landed
Sent my whole entire unit thinkin' we could win
Against the Viet Cong guerrillas there in Gia Dinh
I didn't sign up to kill women or any children
For every enemy soldier, we killin' six civilians
Yeah, and it ain't right to me
I ain't got enough of motherfuckin' fight in me
It frightens me, and I just wanna see my son and moms
But over here, they droppin' seven million tons of bombs
I spent my days dodgin' all these booby-traps and mines
And at night, prayin' to God that I get back alive
And I'm forced to sit back and wonder
Why I was a part of Operation Rolling Thunder
In a foxhole with nine months left here
Jungle like the fuckin' harbinger of death here
I don't wanna be here, I'm scared, I just wanna go home
(You fuckin' kiddin' me? Don't be a pussy, don't you love your country?)
(I like being here, I'm ready)
[R.A. the Rugged Man]
True story
Call me Thorburn, John H., staff sergeant
Marksman, skillin, killin', illin', I'm able and willin'
Kill a village elephant, rapin' and pillage a village
Illegitimate killers, US Military guerrillas
This ain't no real war, Vietnam shit
World War II, that's a war, this is just a military conflict
Soothin' drug abusin', Vietnamese women screwin'
Sex, gambling and boozin', all this shit is amusin'
Bitches and guns, this is every man's dream
I don't wanna go home where I'm just an ordinary human being
Special Op, Huey chopper gun ship run shit
Gook run when the minigun spit, won't miss
Kill shit, spit four-thousand bullets a minute
Vic the Charlie, hit trigger, hit it, I'm in it to win it
Get it, the lieutenant hinted, the villain, I been it
The killing, I did it, cripple, did it, pictures I painted is vivid, live it
A wizard with weapons, the secret mission, we 'bout to begin it
Government funded, behind enemy lines
Bullets is sprayin', it's heatin' up a hundred degrees
The enemies the North Vietnamese, bitch please
Ain't no sweat, I'm told, "Be at ease"
Until I see the pilot got hit, and we 'bout to hit some trees
Tail rotor broke, crash land
American man in Cambodia, right in the enemy hand
Take a swig of the Whiskey to calm us
Them yellow men wearin' black pajamas, they wanna harm us
They all up on us, bang, bang, bullet hit my chest, feel no pain
To my left, the captain caught a bullet right in his brain
Body parts flyin', loss of limbs, explosions
Bad intentions, I see my best friend's intestines
Pray to the one above, it's raining, I'm covered in mud
I think I'm dyin', I feel dizzy, I'm losin' blood
I see my childhood, I'm back in the arms of my mother
I see my whole life, I see Christ, I see bright lights
I see Israelites, Muslims and Christians at peace, no fights
Black, Whites, Asians, people of all types
I must've died, then I woke up, surprised I'm alive
I'm in a hospital bed, they rescued me, I survived
I escaped the war, came back, but ain't escape Agent Orange
Two of my kids born handicapped
Spastic, quadriplegia, micro cephalic
Cerebral palsy, cortical blindness, name it, they had it
My son died, he ain't live, but I still try to think positive
'Cause in life, God take, God give
Yeah, I don't know why I'm over here, this job is evil
They sent me here to Vietnam to kill innocent people
My mother always said, "The president, he doesn't care"
He tryin' to leave the footprints of America here
They say we tryin' to stop Chinese expansion
But I ain't seen no Chinese since we landed
Sent my whole entire unit thinkin' we could win
Against the Viet Cong guerrillas there in Gia Dinh
I didn't sign up to kill women or any children
For every enemy soldier, we killin' six civilians
Yeah, and it ain't right to me
I ain't got enough of motherfuckin' fight in me
It frightens me, and I just wanna see my son and moms
But over here, they droppin' seven million tons of bombs
I spent my days dodgin' all these booby-traps and mines
And at night, prayin' to God that I get back alive
And I'm forced to sit back and wonder
Why I was a part of Operation Rolling Thunder
In a foxhole with nine months left here
Jungle like the fuckin' harbinger of death here
I don't wanna be here, I'm scared, I just wanna go home
(You fuckin' kiddin' me? Don't be a pussy, don't you love your country?)
(I like being here, I'm ready)
[R.A. the Rugged Man]
True story
Call me Thorburn, John H., staff sergeant
Marksman, skillin, killin', illin', I'm able and willin'
Kill a village elephant, rapin' and pillage a village
Illegitimate killers, US Military guerrillas
This ain't no real war, Vietnam shit
World War II, that's a war, this is just a military conflict
Soothin' drug abusin', Vietnamese women screwin'
Sex, gambling and boozin', all this shit is amusin'
Bitches and guns, this is every man's dream
I don't wanna go home where I'm just an ordinary human being
Special Op, Huey chopper gun ship run shit
Gook run when the minigun spit, won't miss
Kill shit, spit four-thousand bullets a minute
Vic the Charlie, hit trigger, hit it, I'm in it to win it
Get it, the lieutenant hinted, the villain, I been it
The killing, I did it, cripple, did it, pictures I painted is vivid, live it
A wizard with weapons, the secret mission, we 'bout to begin it
Government funded, behind enemy lines
Bullets is sprayin', it's heatin' up a hundred degrees
The enemies the North Vietnamese, bitch please
Ain't no sweat, I'm told, "Be at ease"
Until I see the pilot got hit, and we 'bout to hit some trees
Tail rotor broke, crash land
American man in Cambodia, right in the enemy hand
Take a swig of the Whiskey to calm us
Them yellow men wearin' black pajamas, they wanna harm us
They all up on us, bang, bang, bullet hit my chest, feel no pain
To my left, the captain caught a bullet right in his brain
Body parts flyin', loss of limbs, explosions
Bad intentions, I see my best friend's intestines
Pray to the one above, it's raining, I'm covered in mud
I think I'm dyin', I feel dizzy, I'm losin' blood
I see my childhood, I'm back in the arms of my mother
I see my whole life, I see Christ, I see bright lights
I see Israelites, Muslims and Christians at peace, no fights
Black, Whites, Asians, people of all types
I must've died, then I woke up, surprised I'm alive
I'm in a hospital bed, they rescued me, I survived
I escaped the war, came back, but ain't escape Agent Orange
Two of my kids born handicapped
Spastic, quadriplegia, micro cephalic
Cerebral palsy, cortical blindness, name it, they had it
My son died, he ain't live, but I still try to think positive
'Cause in life, God take, God give
Lyrics submitted by B-line, edited by xdixon1999
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