"Pan" as written by and Finn Andrews....
I knew you'd starve in heaven and I'd pray for your release
There's and angel at my table and a devil up my sleeve
With nothing on, nothing but a smile
With nothing on, nothing but a smile

I knew your prize was empty
And that they're waiting on your need
Piano white and wide and empty
I don't even want to know what that means

Why do you wanna know?
You're still nothing but a child
Why do you wanna know?
You're still nothing but a child

Will it come back to me?
Will it come back to me?
Will it come back to me?
Will it come back to me?
If it comes back to me, my love
Will it come back to me for long?

He'll not answer to your bidding
I just buried him last night
I'm still trying to force another
Needle in the camel's eye

Why do you wanna know?
You're still nothing but a child
Why do you wanna know?
You're still nothing but a child

Will it come back to me?
Will it come back to me?
Will it come back to me?
Will it come back to me?
If it came back to me, my love
Will it come back to me for long?

Oh, girl, you ought to know
You are still nothing but a child
You can't satisfy my heart
Of its so called desire

You are nothing but a child




Lyrics submitted by wellwhiskey

"Pan" as written by Finn Andrews

Lyrics © BMG RIGHTS MANAGEMENT US, LLC

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Pan song meanings
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    General CommentI love reference to the New Zealand author Janet Frame "There's and angel at my table ..."
    wellwhiskeyon October 05, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentWhat I really love about this song is how it captures the raw emotion and sweaty, gritty desperation of struggling with oneself. My suspicion is that this is about a man attracted to/in love with an underage girl he knows he can't have. Let me break it down and explain why I think this:

    "I knew you'd starve in heaven and I'd pray for your release"

    The idea of starving is a perfect contradiction. Heaven, one would assume, is an endless banquet where one would never starve. And yet that is what's happening to the person the narrator is addressing, which in this case I think is himself. He's saying here, wow, I have everything I ever wanted right here in this one person (heaven), and yet I can't have her. He's praying for his own release, which is a double entendre. He wants the sexual release as well as the release from his self-imposed moral prison. In other words, he wishes he didn't have a conscience so he could just take the girl without remorse. Unfortunately for him, though, he does have a conscience.

    "There's an angel at my table and a devil up my sleeve
    With nothing on, nothing but a smile
    With nothing on, nothing but a smile"

    This is fantastic imagery. Again, right there in front of him is everything he ever wanted (an angel), and he wants her so badly--the naked, smiling devil, representing his id, which is up his sleeve, meaning he's keeping his desire hidden from the girl.

    "I knew your prize was empty
    And that they're waiting on your need
    Piano white and wide and empty
    I don't even want to know what that means"

    He is partly talking to himself here, and partly to the girl (well, in his mind). He knows her "prize" is empty, which is to say, there isn't much to the girl when you get down to it. This is because she is naive and shallow, as kids tend to be. And "they" (guys) are waiting on her need. That is, they're waiting for her to reach sexual maturity. The piano being white and wide and empty is, I think, just a way for the narrator to try to take his mind off his desires. Music is his escape, but it isn't perfect. He keeps seeing metaphors for the girl everywhere, including in the very piano he's playing to distract himself, and he's doing his best to deny it (doesn't want to understand the metaphors).

    "Why do you wanna know?
    You're still nothing but a child"

    This is the tip-off about what this song is really about. He's talking directly to the girl here, who is presumably asking him if he is interested in her. Maybe it's in his mind and he's practicing what he will say to her if she gets too close. Maybe he's actually saying it. It's hard to know for sure. My guess is, this is all in his head.

    "Will it come back to me?
    Will it come back...."

    This whole section has the feel of a ritual, or something like the Hail Marys in Catholicism--he's repeating these lines over and over to himself to try to get back to his senses, or a place of strength where he can easily reject his taboo desires. The ironic addition of 'my love' makes it seem like he's talking to the girl and calling her my love, but in fact, he's asking himself if his love will come back to him. In this case, "my love" is the embodiment of his sexual desire--Eros--and he's not asking if it will come back because he wants it to. He fears it coming back, as you can see in the next verse:

    "He'll not answer to your bidding
    I just buried him last night
    I'm still trying to force another
    Needle in the camel's eye"

    So, he buried his Eros, meaning he successfully killed his desire for the girl, at least for now. Again, he's talking to the girl (in his dead) and telling her that her girly charms will not work on him. Despite that, he is still trying desperately to figure out some way where this relationship could work, even though he knows it's impossible. The needle in the camel's eye is a twist of the biblical concept of the camel passing through the needle's eye, which Jesus explained was easier to do than for a rich man to get into heaven, essentially meaning it was pretty well impossible. The concept gets jumbled up as the narrator struggles with his desires, and because of his frustration, it manifests in the violent and scary image of him pushing a needle into a camel's eye. Yikes!

    "Oh, girl, you ought to know
    You are still nothing but a child
    You can't satisfy my heart
    Of its so called desire"

    This is pretty much the culmination of his struggle. He finally addresses his forbidden desires head-on and tells the girl (again, in his head) he can't be with her because she's still a child and can never satisfy his love for her, which is "so-called" because he is trying to convince himself that it isn't real, just an illusion born of temporary lust.
    Starwatcher23on September 21, 2017   Link

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