"Speed-Date" as written by and Malcolm Middleton Aidan Moffat....
The ugly tattooed swingers euphemise and call their mucky hobby "trysts,"
but if I saw another man touch you, I'd break his fucking wrists.
Monogamy's not natural, we can't survive, that's what he'll say.
He loves to swap, he's open-minded, but don't dare suggest he's gay.

And maybe we're just lucky, maybe our connection is unique.
And if that's really just what normal people do, aren't you proud to be a freak?

The so-called Dr. Gray's a billionaire because he's got the sexes sussed.
We're a different race, we can't communicate and mind-games are a must.
But if you need a man, just buy the book and follow all "The Rules,"
there's no-one quicker to splash out than vulnerable and desperate, lonely fools.

Do you know enough to circle me a "yes"?
In just three minutes, can I suitably impress?
Why don't we ignore the whistle?
Just a look, a smile, a kiss'll tell you all you really need to know.

And maybe we're just different.
Maybe we're nature's surprise.
So put down the book, log off and keep your wallet closed and just look me in the eyes.


Lyrics submitted by godlikeboy, edited by peter_floyd

Speed-Date song meanings
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  • 0
    General CommentAt first I didn't realise what a clever concept this song was, but it's literally an appeal to a woman he's talking to on a speed date. You can tell because it last 3 minutes (2-3 minutes being the general talking time for a speed date) and there's a whistle at the end ('Why don't we ignore the whistle?'). The speaker mocks the concept of relationships and dating nowadays, as they're talked about in self-help books and websites personified by 'Doctor Gray'. Rather than being revoultionary, dating has become clinical and he wants it to be real and more organic shown by the lines 'Just a look, a smile, a kiss'll tell you all you really need to know'.
    Prisoner.I.Wason February 06, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General CommentThe lyric is "circle me a yes" in referance to speed dating cards not "suckle me and guess".
    targetmalleyon March 14, 2009   Link

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