I think much like another song “Anti-Matter” (that's also on the same album as this song), this one is also is inspired by a horrifying van crash the band experienced on Nov 3, 2022. This, much like the other track, sounds like it's an extension what they shared while huddled in the wreckage, as they helped frontman Garrett Russell stem the bleeding from his head wound while he was under the temporary effects of a concussion. The track speaks of where the mind goes at the most desperate & desolate of times, when it just about slips away to all but disconnect itself, and the aftermath.
I walk down my street at night
The city lights are cold and violent
I am comforted by the approaching sound of trucks and sirens
Even though the world's so bad, these men rush out to help the dying
And though I am no use to them, I do my part by simply smiling
The ghetto boys are catcalling me
As I pull my keys from my pocket
I wonder if this method of courtship has ever been effective
Has any girl in history said "Sure, you seem so nice, let's get it on"
Still, I always shock them when I answer, "Hi, my name's Amanda"
And I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand
And even if I went with you, I'm not the girl you think I am
And I'm not gonna match you, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely
No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy
I have wasted years of my life agonizing about the fires I started
When I thought that to be strong, you must be flame retardant
And now to dress the wounds calls into question how authentic they are
There's always someong criticizing me: "She just likes playing hospital"
Lying in my bed, I remember what you said: "There's no such thing as accidents"
But you've got the headstone all ready, all drawn up and pretty
Your sick satisfaction, those his and hers matching
The headstone's all push up'n, pairs to the horizon
Your eyes full of ketchup, it's nice that you're trying
The headstone's all ready, all carved up and pretty
Your sick satisfaction, those his and hers matching
The daisies all push up'n, pairs to the horizon
Your eyes full of ketchup, it's nice that you're trying
But I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand
And even if I went with you, I'm not the girl you think I am
And I'm not gonna match you, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely
No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy
As I wake up to a cough, the fire burned the block but ironically
Stopped at my apartment and my housemates are all sleeping soundly
And nobody deserves to die for you were awful adament
That if I didn't love you then you had just one alternative
And I may be romantic and I may risk my life for it
But I ain't gonna die for you, you know I ain't no Juliet
And I'm not gonna match, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely
No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy
The city lights are cold and violent
I am comforted by the approaching sound of trucks and sirens
Even though the world's so bad, these men rush out to help the dying
And though I am no use to them, I do my part by simply smiling
The ghetto boys are catcalling me
As I pull my keys from my pocket
I wonder if this method of courtship has ever been effective
Has any girl in history said "Sure, you seem so nice, let's get it on"
Still, I always shock them when I answer, "Hi, my name's Amanda"
And I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand
And even if I went with you, I'm not the girl you think I am
And I'm not gonna match you, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely
No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy
I have wasted years of my life agonizing about the fires I started
When I thought that to be strong, you must be flame retardant
And now to dress the wounds calls into question how authentic they are
There's always someong criticizing me: "She just likes playing hospital"
Lying in my bed, I remember what you said: "There's no such thing as accidents"
But you've got the headstone all ready, all drawn up and pretty
Your sick satisfaction, those his and hers matching
The headstone's all push up'n, pairs to the horizon
Your eyes full of ketchup, it's nice that you're trying
The headstone's all ready, all carved up and pretty
Your sick satisfaction, those his and hers matching
The daisies all push up'n, pairs to the horizon
Your eyes full of ketchup, it's nice that you're trying
But I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand
And even if I went with you, I'm not the girl you think I am
And I'm not gonna match you, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely
No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy
As I wake up to a cough, the fire burned the block but ironically
Stopped at my apartment and my housemates are all sleeping soundly
And nobody deserves to die for you were awful adament
That if I didn't love you then you had just one alternative
And I may be romantic and I may risk my life for it
But I ain't gonna die for you, you know I ain't no Juliet
And I'm not gonna match, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely
No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy
Lyrics submitted by kalelian
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i think its amanda's personal page that the link is on