I walk down my street at night
The city lights are cold and violent
I am comforted by the approaching sound of trucks and sirens
Even though the world's so bad, these men rush out to help the dying
And though I am no use to them, I do my part by simply smiling

The ghetto boys are catcalling me
As I pull my keys from my pocket
I wonder if this method of courtship has ever been effective
Has any girl in history said "Sure, you seem so nice, let's get it on"
Still, I always shock them when I answer, "Hi, my name's Amanda"

And I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand
And even if I went with you, I'm not the girl you think I am
And I'm not gonna match you, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely
No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy

I have wasted years of my life agonizing about the fires I started
When I thought that to be strong, you must be flame retardant
And now to dress the wounds calls into question how authentic they are
There's always someong criticizing me: "She just likes playing hospital"
Lying in my bed, I remember what you said: "There's no such thing as accidents"

But you've got the headstone all ready, all drawn up and pretty
Your sick satisfaction, those his and hers matching
The headstone's all push up'n, pairs to the horizon
Your eyes full of ketchup, it's nice that you're trying

The headstone's all ready, all carved up and pretty
Your sick satisfaction, those his and hers matching
The daisies all push up'n, pairs to the horizon
Your eyes full of ketchup, it's nice that you're trying

But I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand
And even if I went with you, I'm not the girl you think I am
And I'm not gonna match you, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely
No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy

As I wake up to a cough, the fire burned the block but ironically
Stopped at my apartment and my housemates are all sleeping soundly
And nobody deserves to die for you were awful adament
That if I didn't love you then you had just one alternative

And I may be romantic and I may risk my life for it
But I ain't gonna die for you, you know I ain't no Juliet
And I'm not gonna match, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely
No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy


Lyrics submitted by kalelian

Ampersand song meanings
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32 Comments

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  • 0
    General CommentDear God.
    this is the song she played solo when i saw them in april. she called it ten percent then. it was amazing, beautiful, witty...it had me in a bit of a reverie and so i mised most of the words at the time. my heart skipped several beats when i recognised the opening lines just now.
    where did you get the lyrics for this? if you have a recording, i will love you forever if you share it with me.
    espionageon June 22, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentThis is....beautiful to say the least. I really hope they play it this November, because when I saw them in May I dont think they did, you're very lucky espionage.
    I don't know any exact meaning but I supose it is some sort of self-reference. I love it, and find my own way to relate as usual. It lyrically reminds me of Girl Anachronism, accidents and such.
    Love me: wwwiii2.org/kevinmp3s/…
    This is where I got mine from.
    More than possibly the best band on the planet, it's great they're finally getting the attention they deserve so badly. Hopefully lots of riches too.
    xxx
    blackskieslullabyon June 22, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthankyou. thankyou, thankyou, thankyou blackskieslullaby. i do love you. i'm shaking all over after listening to that.
    by the way, anyone who reads my 1st comment, ignore the 'ten percent' bit. i went away, calmed myself down and came to the conclusion that it was just me not having heard the word ampersand before and consequently turning it into a word i did know. when you say it in an amanda accent it sounds a little like 'empersent'. hence the misinterpretation.(i now know that an ampersand is an 'and sign', &)
    also i saw them in may not april but that doesnt matter really.

    to me, the "fires" are break-ups, arguments, and the emotion that goes with them, so "flame-retardant" is not being affected by that.
    "...question how authentic they are/... "She just likes playing hospital"", maybe to do with people accusing her of being melodramatic and exaggerating her emotional wounds, and that she is becoming half convinced they are right... you're right, there are echoes of 'girl anachronism'.
    espionageon June 26, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentTo me, the part about "playing hospital" and questioning how authentic the wounds are seems like it may be about self injury. This is a common theme in Amanda's songs (Bad Habit, for example), and it seems as if it may hold true here, as well, even if in a minor way. It seems that she's been trying to pass off the wounds as accidents, and someone (probably someone she's "with") sees right through it.
    Poprock_Kisson July 04, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commentahh i have had a spot of realisation methinks.

    I reckon this song is about being single and Im not sure exactly what her opinion on that is. For me the playing hospital is relationships in the sense of someone always getting into bad ones or getting upset over things.
    The headstones is just damning the relationship, his and hers is like the marraige and how its all done down even how they die together, no fun. So she aint living her life on the other side of an "&". Hmm maybe joint suicide?

    I dont exactly know but for me its relationships.
    blackskieslullabyon September 26, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthis song is beautiful...

    I think amanda is talking about being with someone who always threatens to hurt his/herself

    when she says
    "That if I didn't love you then you had just one alternative"
    reminds me the most of it-because I used to have a boyfriend that would threaten to kill himself if I ever left him. "alternative" meaning death.

    "And I may be romantic and I may risk my life for it
    But I ain't gonna die for you, you know I ain't no Juliet"

    it reminds me of how I finally just gave up-and said, "go ahead and kill yourself if thats what you want. But i wouldn't die for you just because i can't have you"
    revolutionstyleon October 07, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthere's a video of her playing this on her myspace page too. i can't remember the link, but there's one off the regular dresden dolls page.
    goldielooon October 15, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commenti think its amanda's personal page that the link is on
    Oceaniaon October 22, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commenti think she's referring to romeo & juliet.
    "No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy"
    romeo and juliet were married after about three or four days after meeting. they died about a week after they first met. she's probably refering to the fact that she can't fall in love with someone so quickly to the point where she would die for them.
    "Your eyes full of ketchup, it's nice that you're trying"
    sometimes people use ketchup as fake blood. maybe he wanted to make her feel bad.
    juliet is always on the other side of the ampersand in the title of the play. maybe she doesn't want to always be second?

    this is my favorite song by her. :3
    mewcoreon November 02, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentMy guess is that it has something to do with Romeo & Juliet. I think that what she means by not living on one side of an ampersand is that she doesn't want to forever be known as part of a duet. For instance, most people hear Juliet and think Romeo & Juliet, not just Juliet.
    mimesaresexyon December 17, 2006   Link

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