Nikki's grandfather: hey, everybody! Nikki had his first day of school today!

everybody: oh, yeah, good nikki that's great. Respect!

NG: how ya doin Nikki?

Nikki: well, okay grandpa

everyone: oh, good he's okay. showin the respect. Respect!

NG:(lights cigarette) hey, Nikki tell us about your first day of school

N: School good! We do fingerpainting,

ev: oh, yeah, you gotta respect the fingerpainting. Yeah, respect the fingerpaint. Respect the smearing.

NG: alright, tell us some more Nikki!

N: we make pla-do,

ev: oh, you gotta love the pla-do. Respect the pla-do. give full respect to the pla-do. You put it, you roll it around, you show it respect.

NG: alright, did you smell the pa-do?

N: pla-do smell good!

ev: oh, you gotta respect the smell

Sammy: it's squishy! It's squishy!

old men: of course it's squishy, he knows it's squishy, it's pla-do. What are you, a moron? Sammy, shut the fuck up! My god, he's an idiot!

NG: tell grandpa some more

N: we have cookies and milk too!

ev.: oh, you gotta respect the cookies and milk.(scattered laughter) I respect cookies! Who doesn't respect cookies?!

NG: did you dunk it in the milk?

N: I dunk the cookie

ev: oh, you gotta respect the dunking. yeah. Ya gotta dunk it. Dunking's good. Respect the milk!

N: I like soggy cookies!

Sammy: respect the milk!

om: why, you fuckin moron. You must be an idiot! I just fuckin said that! You idiot!

NG: what else, nikki?

N: teacher read us 3 little pigs!

ev: oh, yeah respect the pigs. respect the bricks. Big respect for the pigs. You respect the pigs, they'll respect you.

S: don't respect the wolf!

om: Sammy, jump in front of a fuckin truck! You shut the fuck up sammy! Every single word that comes out of your fuckin mouth is so disrespectful!

NG: what else, Nikki?

N: well, I play on the playground, and I swing on the monkey bars...

ev.: oh, you gotta respect those monkey bars, man. gotta love thos monkey bars. And show the respect.

N:(throughout chatter) A boy pushed me off the see-saw.

NG: Quiet! quiet, everybody! What did you say?

N: A boy pushed me off the see-saw.

NG: and what is this boy's name?

N: his name Donny McMillan

ev:(Slams Fist) he's fuckin dead! He's a fucking dead man, you hear me? I'll fuckin cut his balls off and feed 'em to his fuckin mother! The kid's dead! This little fuck is dead!

NG: What else, Nikki?

N: I kiss a girl on the playground

ev: oh, respect for the young lover. Show respect, show respect.

Sammy: gotta respect the condom!

om: you fuckin moron, what are you talking about a condom you fuckin idiot? he's five fuckin years old! (I'm just sayin!) you fuckin idiot! I'll fuckin put a fuckin condom on your fuckin tombstone! Sammy, you're a moron!

NG: tell grandpa some more, Nikki

N: We sing the alphabet song!

ev.: Oh, you gotta respect the alphabet song. It's a good song! It's a good song, it helps you remember! You gotta respect it! Yeah, you gotta respect it!

NG: okay, let's hear you sing the song!

S: learnin-

om: sammy, shutup!

N: ok:

(Starts singing very off-tone)

A,
B,
C,

om: oh, respect!

D,
E,

om: respect!
F,

G,

Sammy: oh, you gotta respect the song!

om: sammy, shut the fuck up! He's fuckin trying to sing a fuckin song here, you moron! show a little respect!

H,
I,
J,

om: oh, you gotta show respect.

K,
L,
M,
N,
O,
P,

om: respect, respect, respect, respect! Oh, they always go together

Q,
R,

om: oh, you gotta show the respect

S,
T,
U,
V,

om: oh, respect the v. good letter.

W,
X,
Y,
and Z!

om: oh, respect the completion. You gotta show respect for the kid, he's a smart one!

N: now I know my abc's-

ev.: alright, we know the song. Alright, it's getting a little long. Let's move on.

NG: you do good in the spelling bee?

N: I can spell, grandpa!

ev: ah, respect the confidence! The kid can spell! Just like his grandfather his grandfather can spell!

NG: Okay, I'm gonna spell you something right now, and you tell me what I'm spellin okay?

N: okay grandpa

NG: okay, nikki?

N: okay, granpa

NG: you ready for this?

N: okay, granpa

NG: are you ready for this?

N: alright, grandpa!

NG: Alright, here we go!

Old man: R!

OM: E!

OM: S!

OM: P!

S: S!

om: what the fuck, s? Sammy what's fuckin wrong with you?!! You fuckin idiot! Where'd you learn to fuckin spell?!...

NG: alright my little angel, we're gonna spell the word for you again, and you're gonna tell grandpa what we're spellin, alright? Here we go,

N: Okay!

NG: and Sammy, you're gonna keep your fuckin trap shut!

S: consider it done!

OM: R!

OM: E!

OM: S!

OM: P!

OM: E!

OM: C!

OM: T!

N: uuuh,.....respect!

ev: respect! He got it, the kid's got it! He's one of us! He's got it!

Respect!
Respect!
Respect!
Respect!
Respect!
Respect!
Respect!
Respect!
Respect!

(chant fades)

Performed by Adam Sandler, Allen Covert, Frank Coraci, Jon Rosenberg, and Tim Herlihy from "What the hell happened to me?"


Lyrics submitted by T_D_Phoenix

respect song meanings
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