"Fast car" is kind of a continuation of Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run." It has all the clawing your way to a better life, but in this case the protagonist never makes it with her love; in fact she is dragged back down by him.
There is still an amazing amount of hope and will in the lyrics; and the lyrics themselve rank and easy five. If only music was stronger it would be one of those great radio songs that you hear once a week 20 years after it was released. The imagery is almost tear-jerking ("City lights lay out before us", "Speeds so fast felt like I was drunk"), and the idea of starting from nothing and just driving and working and denigrating yourself for a chance at being just above poverty, then losing in the end is just painful and inspiring at the same time.
And now the grand old opera theater proudly presents
a special holiday edition of the Adventures of the Kung Pao Buckaroos.
Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday
Whatever you do watch what you say
If you're easily offended well that's okay
It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday.
We catch up with our three cowboys one cold
December night huddled around the camp fire.
How ‘bout we sing some holiday songs?
Yeah, hey George, you wanna lead us off?
Yeah, I got one.
Oh Chri-biip-mas tree oh Chri-biip-mas tree how lovely are thou branched
Why am I getting blipped again?
Haven't you heard guys? You can't say Chri-biip-mas you gotta say Holiday
I can't say Chri-biip-mas?
No you might offend somebody.
Who is offended by Chri-biip-mas?
You know you might offend the biiiip and the biiiip and the atheists.
What?
Time to politically correct.
I'll lead this off.
On the first day of Chri-biip-mas my true love said to me.
Jimmy, are you listening?
What?
You can't say Chri-biip-mas.
Why not?
You can say biiiip on the last record.
Why can't I say Chri-biip-mas?
I didn't make the rules.
Hey listen guys, it's not that difficult,
all you gotta do is change Chri-biip-mas to Holiday.
You know, instead of saying white Chri-biip-mas, you say
I'm dreaming of a whi-biiip Holiday.
Why did I get blipped?
You've got to say Caucasian.
So I have to sing, I'm dreaming of a Caucasian holiday?
Sure, that won't offend anybody.
Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday,
Whatever you do watch what you say
If you're easily offended well that's okay.
Why do these people have to feel that way?
How come they get offended so easily?
It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday
I'm just trying to come up with a song here.
Let's sing one together, everybody ready? George?
Ready.
Bill your ready?
I'm ready.
Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy?
Okay!
We three kings of biiiiiiiiip are bearing gifts we've traveled real far.
Sorry boys, you have to say Asia now.
What?
Oh, come on just try.
We three kings of Asia are.
That sounds like horse biiiip
Oh lord, okay. How ‘bout Little Drummer boy?
Nope, that offends short people.
And you can't say drummer ‘cause that will offend real musicians.
How ‘bout little –hahaha- town of meddle hell.
What's this with all the short jokes?
Hey how ‘bout we do Silent Night?
No, it'll offend people who's hard to hear and afraid of the dark
What did he say about a shark?
SHARK?
This happens every year.
Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday
Whatever you do watch what you say
If you're easily offended well that's okay
It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday.
Hohoho!
No.
I can't say ho?
No, you might offend some women.
So basically we can't sing anything?
I think that a bunch of bull biiiip.
Softer George it's more effective.
I think that a bunch of bull biiiip.
You now what? I don't care who we offend,
I'm gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.
Louder man it's more effective.
I don't care who we offend,
I'm gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.
Me too.
We wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas,
we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, and a happy ne-biip year.
We can't say new; it'll offend the old folks.
And you never wanna offend them...
a special holiday edition of the Adventures of the Kung Pao Buckaroos.
Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday
Whatever you do watch what you say
If you're easily offended well that's okay
It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday.
We catch up with our three cowboys one cold
December night huddled around the camp fire.
How ‘bout we sing some holiday songs?
Yeah, hey George, you wanna lead us off?
Yeah, I got one.
Oh Chri-biip-mas tree oh Chri-biip-mas tree how lovely are thou branched
Why am I getting blipped again?
Haven't you heard guys? You can't say Chri-biip-mas you gotta say Holiday
I can't say Chri-biip-mas?
No you might offend somebody.
Who is offended by Chri-biip-mas?
You know you might offend the biiiip and the biiiip and the atheists.
What?
Time to politically correct.
I'll lead this off.
On the first day of Chri-biip-mas my true love said to me.
Jimmy, are you listening?
What?
You can't say Chri-biip-mas.
Why not?
You can say biiiip on the last record.
Why can't I say Chri-biip-mas?
I didn't make the rules.
Hey listen guys, it's not that difficult,
all you gotta do is change Chri-biip-mas to Holiday.
You know, instead of saying white Chri-biip-mas, you say
I'm dreaming of a whi-biiip Holiday.
Why did I get blipped?
You've got to say Caucasian.
So I have to sing, I'm dreaming of a Caucasian holiday?
Sure, that won't offend anybody.
Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday,
Whatever you do watch what you say
If you're easily offended well that's okay.
Why do these people have to feel that way?
How come they get offended so easily?
It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday
I'm just trying to come up with a song here.
Let's sing one together, everybody ready? George?
Ready.
Bill your ready?
I'm ready.
Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy?
Okay!
We three kings of biiiiiiiiip are bearing gifts we've traveled real far.
Sorry boys, you have to say Asia now.
What?
Oh, come on just try.
We three kings of Asia are.
That sounds like horse biiiip
Oh lord, okay. How ‘bout Little Drummer boy?
Nope, that offends short people.
And you can't say drummer ‘cause that will offend real musicians.
How ‘bout little –hahaha- town of meddle hell.
What's this with all the short jokes?
Hey how ‘bout we do Silent Night?
No, it'll offend people who's hard to hear and afraid of the dark
What did he say about a shark?
SHARK?
This happens every year.
Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday
Whatever you do watch what you say
If you're easily offended well that's okay
It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday.
Hohoho!
No.
I can't say ho?
No, you might offend some women.
So basically we can't sing anything?
I think that a bunch of bull biiiip.
Softer George it's more effective.
I think that a bunch of bull biiiip.
You now what? I don't care who we offend,
I'm gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.
Louder man it's more effective.
I don't care who we offend,
I'm gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.
Me too.
We wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas,
we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, and a happy ne-biip year.
We can't say new; it'll offend the old folks.
And you never wanna offend them...
Lyrics submitted by ButNeverOutgunned
Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday (featuring Kung Poo Buck Lyrics as written by Frank Rogers Brad Paisley
Lyrics © Spirit Music Group, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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If you like this, you should check out "Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday" on Brad's new christmas album...amazing disc.